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The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar charts illustrates how much visitors came in the three museum at london since 2007 to 2012. Overall, there is large difference between the three museums regarding number of visitors. Obviously dramatic changes happened in the national gallery in 2012 about the visitors. Firstly, when approaches to the national gallery there is a gradual increse occurs regarding the number of visitors from 2007 to 2012. Secondly when it arrives to the Victoria and albert museum there is fluctuation about the visitors amid of 2009 to 2011 on the contrary these two museums are the highest score on the annual visitors. Thirdly when it comes to the British museum maintaining same popularity since 2007 to 2012. In some point these museum also had some up and down regarding the visitors while the time period of 2008 to 2010. In comparison three museum had fluctuation between 2007 to 2012 when considering the annual visitors
The bar charts
You should probably use “illustrate”.
illustrates
how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
came in the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
london
since 2007 to 2012.

Overall
, there is large difference between the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
regarding number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Obviously
dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
happened in the national gallery in 2012 about the visitors.

Firstly
, when approaches to the national gallery there is a gradual
Possible spelling mistake found.
increse
occurs regarding the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from 2007 to 2012.
Secondly
when it arrives to the Victoria and
Possible spelling mistake found.
albert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
there is fluctuation about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
amid of 2009 to 2011
on the contrary
these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are the highest score on the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Thirdly
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
maintaining same popularity since 2007 to 2012. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
also
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
up and down regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
while the time period of 2008 to 2010. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
comparison
three
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘museum’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “museums”.
museum
had fluctuation
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 2007 to 2012
when considering the annual
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
visitors

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.