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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the number of children in two different age groups in an average class in different countries.

the bar charts illustrates the number of students in two seperated age groups in an average class in various countries. Overall, Japan and Hong Kong has the highest value, while United States and Global average maintain the similair number. In contrast, Russian has the lowest participants in both age group. First, it is showed that Japan and Hong Kong possesses a very high number of pupil compare to others countries displayed in the graph. with Japan having the number children in the age of 13 at around 35, which is similair to the amount of Hong Kong's student whose belongs to the age group of 9. Conversely, Hong Kong's age group of 13 is around the same amount as the group of 9 in Japan, both of them reaching 30. In contrast, The United State and Global average are about half the value of the previous two, both of them having almost identical value for both group Lastly, Russian posseses the lowest
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar charts
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students in two
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in an average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in various countries.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Hong Kong has the highest value,
A determiner is probably missing here: "while the United States".
while United States
and Global average maintain the
Possible spelling mistake found.
similair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
In contrast
, Russian has the lowest participants in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

First
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Hong Kong possesses a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of pupil compare to others countries displayed in the graph.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
children in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 13 at around 35, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
similair
to the amount of Hong Kong's student whose belongs to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 9.
Conversely
, Hong Kong's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 13 is around the same amount as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 9 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, both of them reaching 30.

In contrast
, The United State and Global average are about half the value of the previous two, both of them having almost identical value for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Lastly
, Russian
Possible spelling mistake found.
posseses
the lowest
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of children in two different age groups in an average class in different countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the number of children in two different age groups in an average class in different countries.