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The chart illustrated the percentage of world’s population along with the distribution of their wealth.

The chart illustrated the percentage of world’s population along with the distribution of their wealth. In general, the population share and the wealth share often goes in an opposite direction, for example, North Amercia has the highest percentage of wealth but also one of the lowest in term of people. Western regions, especially Europe and North America possess the highest ranking of wealth with North America being the highest, reaching almost 35%, followed by Europe. However, North America also has one of the lowest population percentages, unlike Europe which has a higher population rate. Moving on, the third region with great wealth is Rich-Asia Pacific, which follows the trend by having the smallest amount of population percentages shown in the chart. In contrast, regions with high populations possess extremely low amount of wealth. The lowest being India and Africa, which the wealth percentage remain under 5%, but the population-wise, they surpasses North America and Europe. The region which has the less different between its people and its money percentages is Latin Amercia and Caribbean.
The chart illustrated the
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percentage
of world’s
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population
along with the distribution of their
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wealth
.
In general
, the
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population
share and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
goes in an opposite direction,
for example
,
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North
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amercia
has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
one of the lowest in term of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Western
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regions
,
especially
Europe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America possess the highest ranking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America being the highest, reaching almost 35%, followed by Europe.
However
,
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North
America
also
has one of the lowest
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population
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percentages
, unlike Europe which has a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate. Moving on, the third
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region
with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is Rich-Asia Pacific, which follows the trend by having the smallest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
shown in the chart.

In contrast
,
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regions
with high
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populations
possess
extremely
low amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. The lowest being India and Africa, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
remain under 5%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the population-wise, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "surpass"
surpasses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America and Europe. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
which has the less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and its money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
is Latin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amercia
and Caribbean.
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IELTS academic The chart illustrated the percentage of world’s population along with the distribution of their wealth.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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