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The bar chart shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

The bar chart shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007 15aqX
The bar chart indicates, the amount of hours a week that teenagers doing certain enterprise in Chester between 2002 and 2007. Overall, when we take a look at the bar chart, we see that, the items have a number of fluctuations over the years. The first activity is going to pubs/discos. The figures for that are almost the same. The amount were from about 7 to 15. 5 by years. The second action is watching television and this item is the first place anong the activities. The amount was preciselu 25, however had increased over the years, to 30, 37, and 38 in 2004, 2005 and 2007 respectively. The third action is shopping. This figures for this activity have raised, on the other hand, the next enterprise is doing homework which had decreased shopping was approximately 5, after that had reached up to about 12 and exactly 15 by years, whereas homework had almost 12 in 2002 and had diminished to around 8 and 7 over the years. The fifth item is doing sport which had diminished as well from precisely 10 to about 3 between 2002 and 2007. The sixth acion is watching DVD's and this enterprise had a number of fluctuations. The figures for that were 12, and then up to around 17 and down to 10 respectively, the last action is Bowling. Bowling had the least amount compared to others. The amount were approximately 3 and 1 over the years.
The bar chart indicates, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of hours a week that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
doing certain enterprise in Chester between 2002 and 2007.

Overall
, when we take a look at the bar chart, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, the items have a number of fluctuations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years.

The
first
activity is going to pubs/discos. The figures for that are almost the same.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
were from about 7 to 15. 5 by years. The second action is watching television and this item is the
first
place
Possible spelling mistake found.
anong
the activities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
preciselu
25,
however
had increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years, to 30, 37, and 38 in 2004, 2005 and 2007
respectively
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third action is shopping. This figures for this activity have raised,
on the other hand
, the
next
enterprise is doing homework which had decreased shopping was approximately 5, after that had reached up to about 12 and exactly 15 by years, whereas homework had almost 12 in 2002 and had diminished to around 8 and 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years. The fifth item is doing sport which had diminished
as well
from
precisely
10 to about 3 between 2002 and 2007. The sixth
Possible spelling mistake found.
acion
is watching DVD's and this enterprise had a number of fluctuations.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
figures for that were 12, and then up to around 17 and down to 10
respectively
, the last action is Bowling. Bowling had the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
compared to others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
were approximately 3 and 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years.

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
243 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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