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The bar chart shows the attendance to art events by age groups in Canada.

The bar chart shows the attendance to art events by age groups in Canada. KGr63
The bar chart provides data about the attendance to art organizations by age categories in Canada. Overall, concert and professional performance are most common activities in all age groups also opera is not prefered by people who are 15 to more than 60. Between 15 and 19 age teenegers are going any concert and professional performance rather than other categories and it is the peak point of this chart which is almost 48%. Other ages are less than 40% in this category. Next, theatrical performance number are shared similar pattern and 3 of them approximately 20%. Other art event is symphonic classical music and ıt shows huge numbers for age of 15 to 44 on the contrary age of 60 and over do not join this event too much which is only 10%. Furthermore, choral music and dance performances have really low percentages and both of them are quiet similar. Lastly, Opera which is the deep peak of this chart represents small percentages and all age groups do not select opera also the numbers averages are roughtly 5%.
The bar chart provides data about the attendance to art organizations by
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age
categories in Canada.
Overall
, concert and professional
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performance
are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
common activities in all
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age
groups
also
opera is not
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are 15 to more than 60. Between 15 and 19
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age
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenegers
are going any concert and professional
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performance
rather
than other categories and it is the peak point of this chart which is almost 48%. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
are less than 40% in this category.
Next
, theatrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
number
are shared
similar pattern and 3 of them approximately 20%. Other art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is symphonic classical music and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
huge numbers for
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age
of 15 to 44
on the contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 60 and over do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
too much which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%.
Furthermore
, choral music and dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
have
really
low percentages and both of them are quiet similar.
Lastly
, Opera which is the deep peak of this chart represents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentages and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups do not select opera
also
the numbers averages are
Possible spelling mistake found.
roughtly
5%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the attendance to art events by age groups in Canada.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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