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The garph shows that how many individual give miney to charitable organisation in different age group

The garph shows that how many individual give miney to charitable organisation in different age group gAaYL
The given Bar graph depicts that in Canada how many individual gave donation to charity in different age groups, From an over all prespective It reveals that the larger donation gave by the 35 to 49 age group individual as compas to other age group however, the smaller a donation in both years was given by 18to 24 age etthing. It crytal clear that in the year, 2000 the youngster who are less than half quater they donated 20% whereas, in 2015 the donation by thesw group people is decreased by almost 10%, moving further, those who get married they donate more than half quater in both 2000 and 2015 Furthermore, age group from 39 to 50 they help other individual is large proportion in comparison with the other group although, the individual who live their life from half centuary they also help many citizen in large proportion At last those people who are above than 70 they donate money to organisation in both year(2000and 2015)mostly equally
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Bar graph depicts that in Canada how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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individual
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
to charity in
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different
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age
groups,

From an over all
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
It reveals that the larger
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donation
gave by the 35 to 49
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
compas
to other
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
however
, the smaller a
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donation
in both years was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by 18to 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake found.
etthing
.

It
Possible spelling mistake found.
crytal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in the year, 2000 the youngster
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who
are less than half
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
they donated 20% whereas, in 2015 the
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donation
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
decreased by almost 10%, moving
further
, those
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married they donate more than half
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
in both 2000 and 2015

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
from 39 to 50 they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is large proportion
in comparison
with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life from half
Possible spelling mistake found.
centuary
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible agreement error. The noun citizen seems to be countable; consider using: "many citizens".
many citizen
in large proportion At last those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are above than 70 they donate money to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
in both year(2000and 2015)
mostly
equally
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IELTS academic The garph shows that how many individual give miney to charitable organisation in different age group

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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