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The bar chart shows percentage of Australian men and women who did regular exercise

The bar chart shows percentage of Australian men and women who did regular exercise E73bL
The bar chart depicts information regarding australian male and female in different age groups who did regular exercise at the year of 2010To sum up, male did less exercise than females It is clearly visible that more female prefer to stay fit than male at the age of 15 to 24 years with 52 percent and 47. 7 percent respectively, which is highest in females as compared to other age groups. At the age of 25 to 34years male and female exercise daily exercise were only 42. 2 and 48. 8percent. Those aged between 35 to 44 age group more than 50 percent men do regular exercise where 34. 4 percent do exercise substantially, lowest number of women participation among other age groups Moreover, at the age of 45 to 54 women and men were only 43. 3and 53. 3 percent, which is at the peak among both genders as well as age groups. Elderly people ratio because almost equal with 46. 7 and 47. 1percent.
The bar chart depicts information regarding
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australian
male and
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female
in
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different
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age
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groups
who did regular
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exercise
at the year of 2010To sum up, male did less
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exercise
than
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females
It is
clearly
visible that more
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female
prefer to stay fit than male at the
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age
of 15 to 24 years with 52
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percent
and 47. 7
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percent
respectively
, which is highest in
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females
as compared to other
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age
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groups
. At the
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age
of 25 to 34years male and
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female
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exercise
daily
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exercise
were
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only
42. 2 and 48.
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8percent
. Those aged
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 35 and 44".
between 35 to 44
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age
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group
more than 50
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percent
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men
do regular
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exercise
where 34. 4
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percent
do
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exercise
substantially
,
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lowest
number of women participation among other
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age
groups

Moreover
, at the
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age
of 45 to 54 women and
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men
were
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only
43. 3and 53. 3
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percent
, which is at the peak among both genders
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
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age
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groups
. Elderly
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people
ratio
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because
almost equal with 46. 7 and 47.
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1percent
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows percentage of Australian men and women who did regular exercise

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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