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the bar chart provides information about the daily average hours

the bar chart provides information about the daily average hours Y2YaV
The bar chart provides information about the daily average hours worked by husband and wives in paid employment. Overall, the total number of hours worked by married women is greater than the total number of hours worked by married men. Looking at the number of hours worked by married men and women in detail, although women aged 45 to 65 may work fewer hours inside the home than younger women, overall they work the greatest number of hours per day due to the extra hours of paid that they do. In addition, husband aged 25 to 44 spend only a slightly more time working outside the home than men aged 45 to 64, but this figure is significantly higher the number of hours of paid work that women of the same age do. Moreover, women in the 25 to 44 age group work almost as many hours inside the home as outside, and there is only a slight difference in the 45 to 64 age group. However, men work on average three times longer outside home than inside.
The bar chart provides information about the daily average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked by husband and wives in paid employment.
Overall
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked by married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is greater than the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked by married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked by married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in detail, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
aged 45 to 65 may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
inside the home than younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
overall
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day due to the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of paid that they do.
In addition
, husband aged 25 to 44 spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
slightly
more time working outside the home than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
aged 45 to 64,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this figure is
significantly
higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of the same age do.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the 25 to 44 age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
almost as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
inside the home as outside, and there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight difference in the 45 to 64 age group.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on average three times longer outside home than inside.
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IELTS academic the bar chart provides information about the daily average hours

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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