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The bar chart provides information about how many unpaid work hours men and women in different categories spend in a week . These categories are based on how many children they have

The bar chart provides information about how many unpaid work hours men and women in different categories spend in a week. These categories are based on how many children they have LGd5n
The bar graph indicates information about the quantities of unpaid working hours per week spent by different categories of men and wom which is based on how many children they have. It is clear that women have more weekly unpaid work hours then men in each category regardlees of how many children they have. According to the given data, we can see that women without children have considerably fewer unpaid work hours ( 30 hours per week ) than other women groups. However women with 3+ children have significantly more unpaid work hours ( just under 60 hours per week ) than women without children. Women with 1-2 children have just under 50 hours for unpaid work. It is also wort nothing that having unpaid work hours increase in each category as the number of children in women. There is not any big noticible change among men categories, they have approximately equal hours for weekly unpaid work ( all of them just under 20 hours per week ). Only men with 3 + children have slightly fewer hours for weekly unpaid work than other men groups.
The bar graph indicates information about the quantities of unpaid working
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hours
per
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week
spent by
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different
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categories
of
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men
and
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wom
which
is based
on how
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many
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children
they have. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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women
have more weekly unpaid
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work
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hours
Did you mean "than"?
then
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men
in each
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category
Possible spelling mistake found.
regardlees
of how
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many
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children
they have. According to the
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given
data, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
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women
without
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children
have
considerably
fewer unpaid
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work
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hours
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
30
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hours
per
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week
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)
than other
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women
groups.
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However
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women
with 3+
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children
have
significantly
more unpaid
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work
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hours
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 60
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hours
per
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week
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
than
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women
without
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children
.
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Women
with 1-2
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children
have
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just
under 50
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hours
for unpaid
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work
. It is
also
wort nothing that having unpaid
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work
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hours
increase in each
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category
as the number of
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children
in
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women
. There is not any
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big
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noticible
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change
among
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men
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categories
, they have approximately equal
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hours
for weekly unpaid
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work
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
all of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20
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hours
per
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week
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
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men
with 3 +
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children
have
slightly
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for weekly unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
groups.
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IELTS academic The bar chart provides information about how many unpaid work hours men and women in different categories spend in a week. These categories are based on how many children they have

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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