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The bar chart illustrates the various types of accommodation between undergraduate students and graduate students at one US university over a year 2013.

The bar chart illustrates the various types of accommodation between undergraduate students and graduate students at one US university over a year 2013. mbJLq
The bar chart illustrates the various types of accommodation between undergraduate students and graduate students at one US university over a year 2013. Overall, the university dormitory and shared apartment remained the most popular accommodation in undergraduate students. Whereas the university accounted for lowest number of graduate students. As can be seen in the chart, in undergraduate students, the university dormitory led the way with around 4200 students. Besides, undergradute students used shared apartment stood at approximately 3800 people, three times higher than shared house. However, during the period, undergraduate students lived with parents accounted for just under 9000, which was followed by using own house. At the bottom position was married student housing, at around 200 people. In constrast to graduate students, there was no people living in university dormitory, 10 times less than the popular accommodation – shared aparment, at just over 1000 students. Living in own apartment and shared house were almost the same, at under 1000 people, which was followed by married students housing. Students who lived with their parents accounted the lower point, at about 100 students.
The bar chart illustrates the various types of accommodation between
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undergraduate
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students
and graduate
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students
at one US
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university
over a year 2013.

Overall
, the
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university
dormitory and
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shared
apartment remained the most popular accommodation in
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undergraduate
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students
. Whereas the
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university
accounted for lowest number of graduate students.

As can be
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seen
in the chart, in
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undergraduate
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students
, the
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university
dormitory led the way with around 4200
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students
.
Besides
,
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undergradute
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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shared
apartment stood at approximately 3800
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, three times higher than
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shared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, during the period,
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undergraduate
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with parents accounted for
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just
under 9000, which
was followed
by using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. At the bottom position
was married
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student
housing, at around 200
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In
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constrast
to graduate
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students
, there was no
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people
living in
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university
dormitory, 10 times less than the popular accommodation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
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shared
Possible spelling mistake found.
aparment
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 1000
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students
. Living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment and
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shared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
were almost the same, at under 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
was followed
by married
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students
housing.
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Students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with their parents accounted the lower point, at about 100
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students
.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the various types of accommodation between undergraduate students and graduate students at one US university over a year 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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