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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of kins of companies in Australia used social media for business reason from 2012 to 2016.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of kins of companies in Australia used social media for business reason from 2012 to 2016. O6gRj
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of kins of companies in Australia used social media for business reason from 2012 to 2016. Overall, the percentage of groups of companies fluctuated over the period of four years from 2012 to 2016. The groups of large companies accounted for the largest proportions of social media for business purpose. In the groups of big companies, the proportion of the use of social media for business purposes is the same, exactly 80%, in the years 2012, 2013, 2016. The figure in 2014 and 2015 decreased, at around 78% and 55% respectively. The percentage of the application of communication networks for business reason of small and medium companies was a significant increase, from around 30% to under 50% and above 30% to 55%, in 2012 and 2016 respectively. However, the figure in 2015 saw a dramatic fall in two groups that is the same by 30%, before reach the highest point in 2016, about 48% and 55%, respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
of
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companies
in Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
social media for
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business
reason from 2012 to 2016.

Overall
, the percentage of
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groups
of
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companies
fluctuated over the period of four years from 2012 to 2016. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of large
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companies
accounted for the largest proportions of social media for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purpose.

In the
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groups
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, the proportion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purposes is the same, exactly 80%, in the years 2012, 2013, 2016. The figure in 2014 and 2015 decreased, at around 78% and 55%
respectively
.

The percentage of the application of communication networks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
reason of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
was a significant increase, from around 30% to under 50% and above 30% to 55%, in 2012 and 2016
respectively
.
However
, the figure in 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dramatic fall in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
that is
the same by 30%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reach the highest point in 2016, about 48% and 55%,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of kins of companies in Australia used social media for business reason from 2012 to 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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