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The bar chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of Liverpool, London and Manchester in the year 2009.

The bar chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of Liverpool, London and Manchester in the year 2009. QwpML
The bar chart illustrates a British research’s consequence relating to the Housing interest of United Kingdom inhabitants in the year 2009. Overall, it can be seen that the percentage of Liverpool’s people who prefer Apartments was highest whereas the least proportion of both three areas in England was in Terraced Houses in the year 2009. Furthermore, the most significant difference in the percentage of people interested in various types of houses between three cities was in Apartments. In terms of Apartments, the percentage of Liverpool’s people liking this category of houses was roughly twice as high as that of London’s citizens and almost three times higher than that of Manchester’s inhabitants, with nearly 60%, 30%, and 20% respectively. Neither of the inhabitants in three cities prefer much in Terraced Houses, which accounted for just almost 20% of the proportion in London, 12% of the percentage in Manchester, and under 10% of the ratio in Liverpool. Looking at the other house type, the percentage of inhabitants in London and Manchester, which prefered Semi-detached houses, were exactly equal (37%) as opposed to that of Liverpool - just 18%. In respect of Detached Houses, the proportion of citizens who interested in this house category in Manchester and London were comparably higher than that of Liverpool, with 35%, 25%, and 15% respectively.
The bar chart illustrates a British research’s consequence relating to the Housing interest of United Kingdom
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inhabitants
in the year 2009.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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percentage
of Liverpool’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer Apartments was highest whereas the least proportion of both three areas in England was in Terraced
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Houses
in the year 2009.
Furthermore
, the most significant difference in the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interested in various types of
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houses
between three cities was in Apartments.

In terms of Apartments, the
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percentage
of Liverpool’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
liking this category of
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houses
was roughly twice as high as that of London’s citizens and almost three times higher than that of Manchester’s
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inhabitants
, with
nearly
60%, 30%, and 20%
respectively
. Neither of the
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inhabitants
in three cities prefer much in Terraced
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Houses
, which accounted for
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just
almost 20% of the proportion in London, 12% of the
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percentage
in Manchester, and under 10% of the ratio in Liverpool.

Looking at the other
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house
type, the
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percentage
of
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inhabitants
in London and Manchester, which
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
Semi-detached
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houses
, were exactly equal (37%) as opposed to that of Liverpool
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
18%. In respect of Detached
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Houses
, the proportion of citizens who interested in this
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house
category in Manchester and London were
comparably
higher than that of Liverpool, with 35%, 25%, and 15%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of Liverpool, London and Manchester in the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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