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The bar chart gives the top eight online activities in Sovakia in a given month.

The bar chart gives the top eight online activities in Sovakia in a given month. 0APXn
The bar chart shows the analysis of the most popular on; ine activities by adult internet user through July in Slovakia In online education there were not too many differences between male and female around 25% and 27% respectively. Health research disparity was largest for the male was 33% and the female was 62%. These shows female more care to their health more than the male. For the job hunting the percentage of the male and female were the same 22%. Then, for the Streaming video males were 48% and the females were 52%. 72% of males visited the internet banking and the females were 5% higher than the males. Females were 77% and was higher 10% more than the males because female may prefer social networking than the males. Next between the males and the females there were not much changes between them they were 82% and 85% respectively. Last for the email website females were 88% and males were 82%. Overall, females were more active on the online activities than the males. The most popular online activities by adult internet users through July in Slovakia is the Email. This shows that slovakian prefer using email than the other online activities.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the analysis of the most popular on;
Possible spelling mistake found.
ine
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activities
by adult internet user through July in Slovakia

In
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online
education there were not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences between male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
around 25% and 27%
respectively
. Health research disparity was largest for the male was 33% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
was 62%. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
more care to their health more than the male. For the job hunting the percentage of the male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
were the same 22%. Then, for the Streaming video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were 48% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were 52%.

72% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
visited the internet banking and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were 5% higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
were 77% and was higher 10% more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
may prefer social networking than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Next
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
there were not
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
between them they were 82% and 85%
respectively
. Last for the email website
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were 88% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were 82%.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were more active on the
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
. The most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
by adult internet users through July in Slovakia is the Email. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
slovakian
prefer using email than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives the top eight online activities in Sovakia in a given month.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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