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The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown.

The chart is indicating the proportion of workforce of three sectors, agricultural, industrial and service, for three different economical countries. Overall, Brazil is always the second amoung three countries while India and Japan lead in the agricultural and service sector respectively. In Japan, most of the workers are working in service related jobs. In constrast, there is only less than 10% of workers are in agricultural sector. The rest of workers belong to the industrial sector. Unlike Japan, the data in Brazil is more equally distributed. The percentage of workforce in agricultural and industrial are nearly the same with almost 25%. Most workers are working in service area but the percentage of it does not go over 50%. Last but not least, most workforce in India goes to agricultural sector with almost 60%, similar to the proportion of the service sector in Japan. The second top percentage of workers goes to the service area with less than 30%. The rest of 10% workers are industrial workers.
The chart is indicating the proportion of workforce of three
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sectors
,
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agricultural
,
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industrial
and
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service
, for three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
economical countries.

Overall
, Brazil is always the second
Possible spelling mistake found.
amoung
three countries while India and
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Japan
lead in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
and
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service
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sector
respectively
.

In
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Japan
, most of the
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workers
are working in
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service
related jobs. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
constrast
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than 10% of
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workers
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
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sector
. The rest of
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workers
Possible agreement error.
belong
to the
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industrial
sector.

Unlike
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Japan
, the data in Brazil is more
equally
distributed. The percentage of workforce in
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agricultural
and
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industrial
are
nearly
the same with almost 25%. Most
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workers
are working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the percentage of it does not go over 50%.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, most workforce in India goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
with almost 60%, similar to the proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. The second top percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
area with less than 30%. The rest of 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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