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The bar chart gives information about the number of travel abroad by Japanese people while the line graph shows the percentage of Japanese tourists coming to Australia in ten consecutive years starting from 1985.

The bar chart gives information about the number of travel abroad by Japanese people while the line graph shows the percentage of Japanese tourists coming to Australia in ten consecutive years starting from 1985. alyAY
The bar chart gives information about the number of travel abroad by Japanese people while the line graph shows the percentage of Japanese tourists coming to Australia in ten consecutive years starting from 1985. Overall, an upward trend can be observed in two charts over the period in question. It is also noticeable that Japanese travelers were more and more interested in Australia to make a trip between 1985 and 1995. Starting at around 5 million people traveled abroad, which grew steadily to 11 million in five years later. Then it decreased slightly by 200 thousand visitors in 1991 before climbing significantly to over 15 million in the last year, which was triple compared to the figure in 1985. Likewise, the number of Japanese visitors who chose Australia for their trip rose dramatically to nearly 5% in the first year, and then it dropped to 4. 2% in 1990, after which it reached a peak of 6. 2% in 1994. In the final year, it returned to 6% of Japanese travelers coming to Australia.
The bar chart gives information about the number of travel abroad by Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of Japanese tourists coming to Australia in ten consecutive years starting from 1985.

Overall
, an upward trend can
be observed
in two charts over the period in question. It is
also
noticeable that Japanese travelers were more and more interested in Australia to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a trip between 1985 and 1995.

Starting at around 5 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveled abroad, which grew
steadily
to 11 million in five years later. Then it decreased
slightly
by 200 thousand visitors in 1991
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
climbing
significantly
to over 15 million in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, which was triple compared to the figure in 1985.

Likewise
, the number of Japanese visitors who chose Australia for their trip rose
dramatically
to
nearly
5% in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and then it dropped to 4. 2% in 1990, after which it reached a peak of 6. 2% in 1994. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it returned to 6% of Japanese travelers coming to Australia.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the number of travel abroad by Japanese people while the line graph shows the percentage of Japanese tourists coming to Australia in ten consecutive years starting from 1985.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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