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The bar chart gives information about the number of library books borrowed from Lammertown Public Library in 1991 and 2001, and the pie chart gives information about the library’s membership in 2010.

The advancement and innovation of latest technologies with its growing demand in every sector such as household and industries by replacing human hands with machinery to perform the various activities. The essay discusses on both positive and negative aspect of ongoing trend. In the beginning, the expenses reduced with the usage of new technologies in comparison to people leads to huge financial benefits in industries or organization. The requirement of huge number of employees to do specific task which could have been completed with a utilization of single machine equipment. For example, the lifting of heavy good needs huge manpower and fund compared to the crane which can operate by a single person reducing the financial burden on the company. The other reason is the consistency and accuracy that machines posses as most of them is programmed and works based on computers. Human are not capable of performing the activities continuously and may loose the accuracy with the overload of work. For example, Robots used in making automobiles can work twenty-four hour with the same level of precision from the start to end which can help to achieve the economic goal of any organization. However, the increased threat of unemployment is regarded as the major demerits with the replacement of human to such machine equipment. For example, most of the industries are likely to move towards the use of machine for their operation which eventually leads people to loosing their jobs. In the other hand, the dependency on machineries for the day-to-day activities of human can guide to the unhealthy lifestyle of living. In summary, the modern technologies are making people more dependent to them, which can have detrimental effect on human lifestyle. I believe such technologies must be balanced with manpower.
The advancement and innovation of
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
with its growing demand in every sector such as household and industries by replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
hands with machinery to perform the various activities. The essay discusses on both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of ongoing trend.

In the beginning, the expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with the usage of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in comparison
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
leads
to huge financial benefits in industries or organization. The requirement of huge number of employees to do specific task which could have
been completed
with a utilization of single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
equipment.
For example
, the lifting of heavy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
needs huge manpower and fund compared to the crane which can operate by a single person reducing the financial burden on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The other reason is the consistency and accuracy that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
posses as most of them
is programmed
and works based on computers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
are not capable of performing the activities
continuously
and may
Did you mean “lose” (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
the accuracy with the overload of work.
For example
, Robots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in making automobiles can work twenty-four
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘hour’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “hours”.
hour
with the same level of precision from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve the economic goal of any organization.

However
, the increased threat of unemployment
is regarded
as the major demerits with the replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
equipment.
For example
, most of the industries are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
for their operation which
eventually
leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
Did you mean “losing” (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loosing
their jobs. In the other hand, the dependency on
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
for the day-to-day activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can guide to the unhealthy lifestyle of living.

In summary, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more dependent to them, which can have detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
lifestyle. I believe such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balanced
with manpower.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the number of library books borrowed from Lammertown Public Library in 1991 and 2001, and the pie chart gives information about the library’s membership in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The bar chart gives information about the number of library books borrowed from Lammertown Public Library in 1991 and 2001, and the pie chart gives information about the library’s membership in 2010.