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Table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route per year in millions.

A glance at the graph provided reveals some data concerning the subway systems within six towns. In this table the dates, the length of route and passengers of underground railway system will be evaluated. It is obvious from the table that the first railway was opened in London and it’s length was upper than others whilst the underground in Kyoto which was opened recently was the lowest percentage. With regard to details, the subway was operated in 1863 in London could consist of 775 million passengers per year and it’s longitude was 394 kilometers. However, the railways of Paris was opened in 1900 and it’s length was 199 km and also 1191 million travelers have visited there. Likewise, 1927 million wayfarers was acted by the subway which was situated in 1927 in Tokyo and it’s route was 155 km. As can be seen from the picture, Washington’s first tunnel railways opened in 1976 with 126 km length and 144 million passengers could be contained each year. The subway which was started it’s action in 1981 in Kyoto was able to contain only 45 million people per year and it’s length was 11 km. Finally, the last railway in Los Angeles was situated in 2001 with 28 km and the number of passengers are 50 million people.
A glance at the graph provided reveals
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some
data concerning the
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subway
systems within six towns. In this table the dates, the
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length
of route and
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passengers
of underground
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railway
system will
be evaluated
.

It is obvious from the table that the
first
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railway
was opened
in
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London and
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it’s
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length
was upper than others whilst the underground in Kyoto which
was opened
recently was the lowest percentage.

With regard to
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details
, the
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subway
was operated
in 1863 in London could consist of 775
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
per
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
it’s longitude was 394 kilometers.
However
, the
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railways
of Paris
was opened
in
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1900 and
It seems that the possessive pronoun “its” fits better in this context.
it’s
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length
was 199 km and
also
1191
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million
travelers have visited there.
Likewise
, 1927
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million
wayfarers
was acted
by the
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subway
which
was situated
in 1927 in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Tokyo and
It seems that the possessive pronoun “its” fits better in this context.
it’s
route was 155 km.

As can be
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seen
from the picture, Washington’s
first
tunnel
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railways
opened in 1976 with 126 km
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length
and 144
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
could
be contained
each year. The
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subway
which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it’s
action in 1981 in Kyoto was able to contain
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only
45
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
per
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
It seems that the possessive pronoun “its” fits better in this context.
it’s
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length
was 11 km.
Finally
, the last
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railway
in Los Angeles
was situated
in 2001 with 28 km and the number of
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passengers
are 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS academic Table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route per year in millions.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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