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The bar chart for example.

The bar chart for example. 6loXj
The bar chart illustrats global sales of top five mobile phone brands within the time period of 3 years from 2009 to 2013 Overall, tree out of five companies have an increase in sales for instance Samsung, Apple and ZTE. Apparently, the most significant rise was made by Sumsung and reached a high of 450 units eventually. In contrast, the sales of Nokia dropped dramatically from 450 to 250 units at 2013. Although the amount of sales is not compatible to Sumsung points, Apple also experienced noticeable increase as a result hit a point of 150 units from nearly 25. While LG shows gradual decrease, it was on the forth place with just above 75 units in the end. The mobile brand having the least number of points is ZTE
The bar chart
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illustrats
global
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sales
of top five mobile phone brands within the time period of 3 years from 2009 to 2013
Overall
, tree out of five
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companies
have an increase in
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sales
for instance
Samsung, Apple and
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ZTE
.
Apparently
, the most significant rise
was made
by
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Sumsung
and reached a high of 450
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units
eventually
.
In contrast
, the
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sales
of Nokia dropped
dramatically
from 450 to 250
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units
at 2013. Although the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
is not compatible to
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Sumsung
points, Apple
also
experienced noticeable increase
as a result
hit a point of 150
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units
from
nearly
25.

While LG
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
gradual decrease, it was on the
Did you mean "fourth place"?
forth place
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in the
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end
. The mobile brand having the least number of points is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ZTE
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IELTS academic The bar chart for example.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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