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The bar chart depicts the data about the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The bar chart depicts the data about the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. In general, it can be noticeable that consumer spent on five different countries items in France and Britain. It is clear that British people spent more money on these goods than people in France. Both these countries spent most on money for car in 2010. Afterwards, Britains consumers spent just over 450, 000 pounds sterling on cars, while the amount of money spent by France consumers wa slight lower at £400, 000. So the amount of income spent by France people on perfume £200, 000 was noticeably higher ( sezilarli darajada yuqori ) than that of the UK. The expenditure on cameras in the UK was approximately 350, 000 pound, compared with French consumers expenditure which was only 150, 000 pounds sterling. The UK peoples spent on books was higher than France at just £400, 000.
The bar chart depicts the data about the expenditure of two countries on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
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goods
in 2010.
In general
, it can be noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries items in France and Britain. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more money on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than
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people
in France. Both these countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
most on money for car in 2010. Afterwards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
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spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 450, 000 pounds sterling on cars, while the amount of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
Possible spelling mistake found.
wa slight
lower at £400, 000.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the amount of income
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spent
by France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on perfume £200, 000 was
noticeably
higher
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
sezilarli
Possible spelling mistake found.
darajada
Possible spelling mistake found.
yuqori
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
than that of the UK. The expenditure on cameras in the UK was approximately 350, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
, compared with French
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "consumers'" or "consumer's"?
consumers
expenditure which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
150, 000 pounds sterling. The UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on books was higher than France at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
£400, 000.
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IELTS academic The bar chart depicts the data about the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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