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The bar chart demonstrated the percentage

The bar chart demonstrated the percentage yRQxl

Writing task 1 The bar chart demonstrated the percentage of regular physical activity by Australian men and women in various classification of age. According to the data, physical activity done by Australian men has a volatile trend. Based on the data, the percentage reach it peaks on young age (15-24 years old) about 52. 8%. Even though it was high in the young age, degradation happened after it until age group of 35 to 44. Raising trends begin again at age of 45 to 65 and above. Different from men, women reached the peak of the physical activity in the age of 45 to 54 about 53. 3%. The physical activity trend of Australian women the chart is keep raising from 15 years old until the age of 45 and 64, and it reduces into 47. 1% in age of 65 and over. Based on the data in 2010, the conclusion is Australian women tend to be more active than Australian men started in age group of 25 and over. Writing task 2 Sharing information as much as possible in scientific research, business or academic world for some people’s opinion is brilliant. Otherwise, some believe that it is better to keep some information which is too crucial or valuable. With these two different belief, I feel that some crucial information should be kept rather than shared because it may contain privacy or used for improper purpose. In a science sector, the scientist explained and mentioned result or information as much as it needed to make the reader understand of the research and its result. In the International Journal, it has several requirements for paper submission, and it must contain important data which lead to prove the hypothesis. In my experience of making thesis paper, it must be written completely and contain essential data. It because in the scientific paper, the result of the research will be used for improvement in scientific field or further research. Despite sharing all the information, business area tends to hold the crucial information to secure the company. For example, the secret of marketing, recipe and profitability in business sector. It can be harmful for the company if the workers share all the company information to the public, because competitor will look for the weaknesses and can steal the idea of the other company. Therefore, in business area, it is better to share information in a proper amount. In conclusion, keep some crucial information of our research result in any sector is the good thing to do instead of share detailed information that is not really necessary.

Writing task 1

The bar chart demonstrated the percentage of regular You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrealsubstantialnaturalenvironmental
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withactionlifeenterpriseexercisemovement
activity
 by Australian You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfatherbrothersonguyfellowhusband
men
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgirlwifedaughtermothershe
women
 in various classification of age.

According to the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpicturestatisticsknowledgedossierevidencegoods
data
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrealsubstantialnaturalenvironmental
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withactionlifeenterpriseexercisemovement
activity
 done by Australian You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfatherbrothersonguyfellowhusband
men
 has a volatile trend. Based on the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpicturestatisticsknowledgedossierevidencegoods
data
, the percentage reach it peaks on young You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 (15-24 years This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ancientagedmature
old
) about 52. 8%. Even though
 it was high in the young You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
, degradation happened after it until You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 group of 35 to 44. Raising trends This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 again at You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 of 45 to 65 and above.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
Different
 from You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfatherbrothersonguyfellowhusband
men
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgirlwifedaughtermothershe
women
 reached the peak of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrealsubstantialnaturalenvironmental
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withactionlifeenterpriseexercisemovement
activity
 in the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 of 45 to 54 about 53. 3%. The You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrealsubstantialnaturalenvironmental
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withactionlifeenterpriseexercisemovement
activity
 trend of Australian You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgirlwifedaughtermothershe
women
 the chart is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 raising from 15 years This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ancientagedmature
old
 until the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 of 45 and 64, and it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alleviates
reduces
 into 47. 1% in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 of 65 and over.

Based on the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpicturestatisticsknowledgedossierevidencegoods
data
 in 2010, the conclusion is Australian You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgirlwifedaughtermothershe
women
 tend to be more active than Australian You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfatherbrothersonguyfellowhusband
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
 in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 group of 25 and over.

Writing task 2

Sharing You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 as much as possible in scientific You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprobeinquiryinvestigationexplorationanalysis
research
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 or academic world for This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
’s opinion is brilliant. Otherwise
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 believe that it is better to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 which is too You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdecidingnecessarytouchypressingcompellingurgent
crucial
 or valuable. With these two This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 belief, I feel that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdecidingnecessarytouchypressingcompellingurgent
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 should be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retained
kept
rather
 than shared This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 it may contain privacy or This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 for improper purpose.

In a science sector, the scientist This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :interpreted
explained
 and mentioned You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentreactionproductdecisionconsequenceoutcome
result
 or You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 as much as it needed to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 the reader understand of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprobeinquiryinvestigationexplorationanalysis
research
 and its You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentreactionproductdecisionconsequenceoutcome
result
. In the International Journal, it has several requirements for paper submission, and it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 contain This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpicturestatisticsknowledgedossierevidencegoods
data
 which lead to prove the hypothesis. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
 my experience of making thesis paper, it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
be written
 completely and contain essential You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpicturestatisticsknowledgedossierevidencegoods
data
. It This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 in the scientific paper, the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentreactionproductdecisionconsequenceoutcome
result
 of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprobeinquiryinvestigationexplorationanalysis
research
 will be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 for improvement in scientific field or further
 research.

Despite sharing all the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 area tends to hold the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdecidingnecessarytouchypressingcompellingurgent
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 to secure the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
company
. For example
, the secret of marketing, recipe and profitability in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 sector. It can be harmful for the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
company
 if the workers share all the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 to the public, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 competitor will look for the weaknesses and can steal the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtconceptnotion
idea
 of the other You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
company
. Therefore
, in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 area, it is better to share You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 in a proper amount.

In conclusion
, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdecidingnecessarytouchypressingcompellingurgent
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 of our You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprobeinquiryinvestigationexplorationanalysis
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentreactionproductdecisionconsequenceoutcome
result
 in any sector is the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 thing to do instead
 of share detailed You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
that is
 not really
 necessary. 