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The bar chart compares the percentage of visitors to art exhibitions by six countries: France, The United State, The United Kingdom, Korea, Spain and Russia in the year 2011.

The bar chart compares the percentage of visitors to art exhibitions by six countries: France, The United State, The United Kingdom, Korea, Spain and Russia in the year 2011. 8dbwV
Overall, the number of visitors to a variety of art exhibitions decreased all over the six years. The Louvre in France accounted for the highest amount of visitors with nearly 9 million people. While, visitors went into the four countries consist of: USA, UK, Korea, Spain and Russia trend followed an opposite direction for visitors in France. The Metropolitan Museum in the United State and the British Museum in the United Kingdom which have lower than France with 6 million fewer than roughly 3 million and slightly less than 6 million visitors, respectively. The most dramatic change was in Korea, Spain and Russia, where the percentage dipped to over 3 million persons, about one-third of the visitors in France. And the Sate Hermitage gallery in Russia where the figures actually lowest occurred on under 3 million persons
Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to a variety of art exhibitions decreased all over the six years. The Louvre in France accounted for the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with
nearly
9
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
went into the four countries consist of: USA, UK, Korea, Spain and Russia trend followed an opposite direction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in France. The Metropolitan Museum in the United State and the British Museum in the United Kingdom which have lower than France with 6
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million
fewer than roughly 3
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million
and
slightly
less than 6
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
,
respectively
.

The most dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was in Korea, Spain and Russia, where the percentage dipped to over 3
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million
persons, about one-third of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in France. And the Sate Hermitage gallery in Russia where the figures actually lowest occurred on under 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
persons
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the percentage of visitors to art exhibitions by six countries: France, The United State, The United Kingdom, Korea, Spain and Russia in the year 2011.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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