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The bar chart compares the percentage of various age groups of males and females who had a routine physical activity in 2010 in Australia.

The bar chart compares the percentage of various age groups of males and females who had a routine physical activity in 2010 in Australia. 0YlG
The bar chart compares the percentage of various age groups of males and females who had a routine physical activity in 2010 in Australia. Overall, in the five age groups women had a higher amount of activity, while men merely in one age group ranked first. According to the bar chart, the young men (15-24) with approximately 53% did physical activity 5% higher than young women. This flowed by a decrease in proportion of men (roughly 43%) in the second age group which was allocated to 25 years to 34 years adults. In this group just under 49% of women tended to do physical activity. Moreover, while in the next three age groups there was a same amount of female contribution in doing physical activity (approximately 53%), males had a different percentage in each group. In all of these groups they were responsible for less amount of physical activity rather than women which was a significant difference (about 12%) in the group of 34 to 44 years people. Finally, in the last age group which was allocated to the elders, who were over 65 years, there was a same percentage of doing physical activity between men and women. Roughly half of the all old men and women tended to do physical activity in Australia in 2010.
The bar chart compares the percentage of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of males and females who had a routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in 2010 in Australia.

Overall
, in the five
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had a higher amount of
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activity
, while
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men
merely
in one
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age
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group
ranked
first
.

According to the bar chart, the young
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men
(15-24) with approximately 53% did
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
5% higher than young
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women
. This flowed by a decrease in proportion of
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men
(roughly 43%) in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
which
was allocated
to 25 years to 34 years adults. In this
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group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 49% of
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women
tended to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity.

Moreover
, while in the
next
three
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
there was a same amount of female contribution in doing
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
(approximately 53%), males had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
percentage in each
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group
. In all of these
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groups
they were responsible for less amount of
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physical
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activity
rather
than
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women
which was a significant difference (about 12%) in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 34 to 44 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Finally
, in the last
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
which
was allocated
to the elders, who were over 65 years, there was a same percentage of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
between
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Roughly half of the all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
tended to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in Australia in 2010.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the percentage of various age groups of males and females who had a routine physical activity in 2010 in Australia.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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