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The bar chart compares the percentage of male and female who carried out activities required energy expenditure via six separate groups of age in 2010 in Australia.

The bar chart compares the percentage of male and female who carried out activities required energy expenditure via six separate groups of age in 2010 in Australia. lXe0w
The bar chart compares the percentage of male and female who carried out activities required energy expenditure via six separate groups of age in 2010 in Australia. Overall, although the proportion of men and women who conducted physical activities tended to fluctuate from the young to the old, the corresponding one of men aged over 25 was consistently lower than that of women except for the first group. From the chart, the percentage of women who conducted physical activities had a tendency to increase and peaked at 53. 3% in the 45-54 age group. However, in the over-54 age groups, there was a moderate drop by 6. 2% to 47. 1% in the figure of female whereas the number of males grew 43. 1% to 46. 7% in the same aspect. Moreover, the corresponding percentage of men reached the valley at 39. 5% in the 35-44 age group. Additionally, the disparity between the rate of men and women who did physical activities rose slightly from around 5% to 10% in the under-54 age groups meanwhile the figures for men and women were approximately equal at 47% in the final group.
The bar chart compares the percentage of male and female
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who
carried out
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activities
required energy expenditure via six separate
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groups
of
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age
in 2010 in Australia.

Overall
, although the proportion of
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
conducted physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
tended to fluctuate from the young to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, the corresponding one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
aged over 25 was
consistently
lower than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
first
group.

From the chart, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
conducted physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
had a tendency to increase and peaked at 53. 3% in the 45-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
However
, in the over-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, there was a moderate drop by 6. 2% to 47. 1% in the figure of female whereas the number of males grew 43. 1% to 46. 7% in the same aspect.
Moreover
, the corresponding percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
reached the valley at 39. 5% in the 35-44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Additionally
, the disparity between the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did physical
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activities
rose
slightly
from around 5% to 10% in the under-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
meanwhile the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were approximately equal at 47% in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the percentage of male and female who carried out activities required energy expenditure via six separate groups of age in 2010 in Australia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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