Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie charts given illustrate the proportion of people who worked for three different sectors in town A and B within 50 years, starting from 1960.

The pie charts given illustrate the proportion of people who worked for three different sectors in town A and B within 50 years, starting from 1960. 0wno9
The pie charts given illustrate the proportion of people who worked for three different sectors in town A and B within 50 years, starting from 1960. Overall, the manufacturing workers in two towns showed an upward trend, whereas a reduction was seen in sales jobs. Another key feature is that manufacturing sectors had the highest employment. Concerning town A, 30% of people had sales jobs in 1960. This figure was somewhat halved by the end. A similar trend was seen in the services worker, which declined by 15% in 2010. By contrast, manufacturing sectors rose incredibly from 29% to 64% during the period examined. In terms of town B, the percentage of sales workers was 72% in 1960. This figure fell by 18% in 2010. Conversely, the manufacturing worker increased by 16% from 8% in 1960. Similarly, the proportion of service workers rose slightly from 20% to 22%.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrate the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who worked for three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A and B within 50 years, starting from 1960.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend, whereas a reduction was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in sales jobs. Another key feature is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
sectors had the highest employment.

Concerning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A, 30% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had sales jobs in 1960. This figure was somewhat halved by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. A similar trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
, which declined by 15% in 2010. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
sectors rose
incredibly
from 29% to 64% during the period examined.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B, the percentage of sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
was 72% in 1960. This figure fell by 18% in 2010.
Conversely
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
increased by 16% from 8% in 1960.
Similarly
, the proportion of service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
rose
slightly
from 20% to 22%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The pie charts given illustrate the proportion of people who worked for three different sectors in town A and B within 50 years, starting from 1960.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts