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The bar chart below shows the three main causes of land damage in four different areas in the world.

The bar chart below shows the three main causes of land damage in four different areas in the world. 6NxEj
The given bar chart illustrates the three primary reasons of land damage in four areas in the world, namely Africa, Asia, Australia and Europe. Overall, it is obvious that Africa and Asia have the highest figure for land destruction caused by all three reasons. Besides, breeding is the most popular reason which leads to land destruction in the four regions shown. In Asia, the amount of land destroyed by tree-cutting is the largest, at 500 million hectares, while the amount of that is the second largest in Africa, at about 370 million hectares. Australia and Europe both have around 100 million hectares of land destroyed by the same cause. Land devastation caused by breeding accounts for just over 1200 million hectares in total among four areas, the largest in Africa and the smallest in Europe. The amount of land damaged by farming in Asia is 4 times larger than that in Europe, (at nearly 420 million hectares compared to about 120 million hectares). Africa and Australia’s land damaged by farming are 300 million hectares and over 50 million hectares respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the three primary reasons of
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land
damage in four areas in the world,
namely
Africa, Asia, Australia and Europe.

Overall
, it is obvious that Africa and Asia have the highest figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
destruction caused by all three reasons.
Besides
, breeding is the most popular reason which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
destruction in the four regions shown.

In Asia, the amount of
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land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by tree-cutting is the largest, at 500
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million
hectares, while the amount of
that is
the second largest in Africa, at about 370
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million
hectares. Australia and Europe both have around 100
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million
hectares of
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land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the same cause.

Land devastation caused by breeding accounts for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 1200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
hectares in total among four areas, the largest in Africa and the smallest in Europe. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
damaged by farming in Asia is 4 times larger than that in Europe, (at
nearly
420
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million
hectares compared to about 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
hectares). Africa and Australia’s
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land
damaged by farming are 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
hectares and over 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
hectares
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the three main causes of land damage in four different areas in the world.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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