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the bar chart below shows the percentage of business with social media presence

the bar chart below shows the percentage of business with social media presence WEWm0
The given chart compare and contrasts data on the changes the figure for three different types of business sectors between 2012 and 2016. From the graph it is clear that, the figure for all types of businesses went up dramatically while, large business was higher compared to other two categories. In terms of small business less than 30 %the lowest data on the chart in 2012, this number then rose to 35 %in 2014 whereas, this figure hit free fall for 30%after undergoing an increase just under 48 %in 2016. this trend is nearly the same size in small business begging with 31%and a significant rise 34 from 2012 to 2014. and falling 30 in 2014. and this number grow slightly around 52%by 2016. The percentage of large business were more than double small and medium business throughout 2014 after hitting far fall 50% and then went up 79 %in 2016
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart compare and contrasts data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the figure for three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
sectors between 2012 and 2016. From the graph it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the figure for all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
went up
dramatically
while, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
was higher compared to other two categories. In terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
less than 30
Possible spelling mistake found.
%the
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
data on the chart in 2012, this number then rose to 35
Possible spelling mistake found.
%in
2014 whereas, this figure hit free fall for 30%after undergoing an increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 48
Possible spelling mistake found.
%in
2016.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
trend is
nearly
the same size in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
begging with 31%and a significant rise 34 from 2012 to 2014.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
falling 30 in 2014.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
this number grow
slightly
around 52%by 2016. The percentage of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
were more than double
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
throughout 2014 after hitting far fall 50% and then went up 79
Possible spelling mistake found.
%in
2016

IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the percentage of business with social media presence

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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