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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 kyqM
The given bar chart describes the percentage of Australian males and females in various aged categories who made daily physical exercises in 2010. Overall it is explicitly conspicuous that the most active aged group in 2010 was from 45 to 54 by Australian females with the action percentage which was constituted 53. 3. While tiny position was occupied by males between 35 and 44 years with the lowest index of physical productivity by 39, 5 percentages. Now, turning to the details, according to the diagram it can be seen that women indicators of physical activity always were more productive as opposite to men except the age of young generation where males dominate the females more then on 5 percentage. Getting back to the details it can be noticed that at old age from both sides the everyday physical productivity was almost the same: females percentage is 47, 1 and males is 46, 1. As is presented in the diagram it is clearly observed that physical activity by men from 35 years started to grow further but women ratio reduced.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the percentage of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in various aged categories who made daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises in 2010.

Overall
it is
explicitly
conspicuous that the most active aged group in 2010 was from 45 to 54 by Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
with the action percentage which
was constituted
53. 3. While tiny position
was occupied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
between 35 and 44 years with the lowest index of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
productivity by 39, 5 percentages.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, according to the diagram it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that women indicators of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity always were more productive as opposite to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
except the age of young generation where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
dominate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
on 5 percentage.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
it can
be noticed
that at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age from both sides the everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
productivity was almost the same:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
percentage is 47, 1 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
is 46, 1. As
is presented
in the diagram it is
clearly
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
from 35 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
women ratio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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