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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 kYRDO
The rendered chart depicts the information about the males and females of Australia who did physical activity regularly with distinct age groups in the year 2010. The data has been calibrated in percentage. Having a quick glance, the ratio of Australian men who were 15 to 24 years old and did regular physical activity was roughly 52. 8%, wheras only 47. 7% females took part in physical activity regularly. Interestingly, Australian men and women who did physical activity was 48. 9% and 42. 2% in 25 to 35 age group respectively. In 35 to 44 age group, the percentile of those females was registered as 52. 5% who did physical activity, while males percentage was 6. 7% less than their counterpart. Moving ahead, it is surprised to note that 43. 1% male and 53. 3% females of 45 to 54 age group participated in physical activity regularly. Just above a half ratio of women preferred to participate in physical activity, whilst men had only 45. 1% percentage in 55 to 64 age group. Therewas accounted a minimal difference for both participants in doing physical activity which was 46. 7% of Australian men and 47. 1% of females in 65 and over age group. Overall, it is crystal clear that the percentage of whole Australian females age group was witnessed more than male participants in doing physical activity except 15 to 24 age group.
The rendered chart depicts the information about the
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males
and
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females
of Australia
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who
did
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physical
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activity
regularly
with distinct
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age
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groups
in the year 2010. The data has
been calibrated
in
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percentage
. Having a quick glance, the ratio of Australian
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men
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who
were 15 to 24 years
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old
and did regular
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physical
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activity
was roughly 52. 8%,
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wheras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
47. 7%
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females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
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physical
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activity
regularly
.
Interestingly
, Australian
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men
and women
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who
did
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was 48. 9% and 42. 2% in 25 to 35
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age
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group
respectively
. In 35 to 44
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age
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group
, the percentile of those
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females
was registered
as 52. 5%
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who
did
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physical
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activity
, while
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males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was 6. 7% less than their counterpart. Moving ahead, it
is surprised
to note that 43. 1% male and 53. 3%
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females
of 45 to 54
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
participated in
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physical
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activity
regularly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
above a half ratio of women preferred to participate in
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physical
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activity
, whilst
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men
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
45. 1%
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percentage
in 55 to 64
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age
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group
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Therewas
accounted a minimal difference for both participants in doing
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physical
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activity
which was 46. 7% of Australian
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men
and 47. 1% of
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females
in 65 and over
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age
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group
.
Overall
, it is crystal
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clear
that the
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percentage
of whole Australian
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females
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age
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group
was witnessed
more than male participants in doing
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
except 15 to 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
233 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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