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the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for people in canada

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for people in canada aE9qm
Overall, it is evident that most of the people of all age range living in Canada suffer from pressure for no particular reason, followed by the figure for that of own health problems. Meanwhile, slightly less tension is put on Canadians who lack money and spending a huge amount of time working. In terms of the most prevalent causes of stress, it is to blame for the proportion of no particular reason and own health problem. As can be seen, people age 75 and over always rank top, at exactly 35% and approximately 25 % respectively with regard to the pressure in their lives in two different categories, namely no particular reason and own health problem. It is clear that the 65-74 age bracket that accounts for over a third and practically 10 % for no particular reason and own health problem, which doubles that of the middle age group ( 55-64), at just over 15 % and 10 % respectively. Meanwhile, the younger age bracket of people ( 25-54) is the smallest contribution of two distinct motives of stress. By contrast, the percentages of overworking and lacking money show a reverse pattern with the highest proportion belong to people whose age is 25-54 at 25 % and 15% respectively. a similar pattern is seen with elderly people, who are the least affected by overwork, only 1%. People who are 25-54 years old are also worried about money the most, with 15%, 2% higher than 55-64 age group, double 65-74 group, and 5 times as much as the figure of 75+ age group.
Overall
, it is evident that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range living in Canada suffer from pressure for no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, followed by the figure for that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Meanwhile,
slightly
less tension
is put
on Canadians who lack money and spending a huge amount of time working.

In terms of the most prevalent causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, it is to blame for the proportion of no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
75 and over always rank top, at exactly 35% and approximately 25 %
respectively
with regard to the pressure in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories,
namely
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the 65-74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket that accounts for over a third and
practically
10 % for no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, which doubles that of the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
55-64), at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 15 % and 10 %
respectively
. Meanwhile, the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
25-54) is the smallest contribution of two distinct motives of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

By contrast, the percentages of overworking and lacking money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a reverse pattern with the highest proportion belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is 25-54 at 25 % and 15%
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
similar pattern is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
with elderly
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people
, who are the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by overwork,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are 25-54 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
also
worried about money the most, with 15%, 2% higher than 55-64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, double 65-74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, and 5 times as much as the figure of 75+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for people in canada

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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