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The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. 6x6Yx
The bar chart shows five key sectors for Brazil in 2009, 2019, and 2029. The finance sector is on the rise from 2009 to 2029. I estimated, therefore, people are broke in Brazil, because, the Finance sector is rich. The food processing sector was rising from 2009 to 2019, however, this sector will be down until 2029. The manufacturing sector was starting down in 2009. I guess people skint because of this sector. Especially, this sector will be a big downsizing until 2029. The tourism sector was starting to downsize after 2009. But this downsizing stops the same, from 2019 to 2029. The Oil sector was starting to rise from 2009 to 2019, however, this sector will be %5 downsized until 2029. As a result, the manufacturing sector will be downsized, therefore people will be broke in Brazil, and then, people will want money from banks. If Brazilian people want to fix the economy of Brazil, they have to start manufacturing.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
five key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
for Brazil in 2009, 2019, and 2029. The finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is on the rise from 2009 to 2029. I estimated,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are broke in Brazil,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the Finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is rich.

The food processing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was rising from 2009 to 2019,
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
will be down until 2029.

The manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was starting down in 2009. I guess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
skint
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
Especially
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
downsizing until 2029.

The tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was starting to downsize after 2009.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this downsizing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
the same, from 2019 to 2029.

The Oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was starting to rise from 2009 to 2019,
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
will be %5 downsized until 2029.

As a result
, the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
will
be downsized
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be broke in Brazil, and then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will want money from banks. If Brazilian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the economy of Brazil, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
manufacturing.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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