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The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. KwGaR
The supplied line graph gives information about the amount of the tourist to four popular museums from 1980 to 1995. Overall, we can see that Louvre and Vatican museums increasing their popularity unlike Shenzhen and London Science museums in 35 years. In 1980, welcomed just below the 8 million tourists visited Louvre and the numbers climbed next 15 years to 9 million. However starting in 1995, Louvre lost visitors for 5 years. Nevertheless, Louvre shoved steady decline next 15 year period and reach more than 9 million visitors in 2015. The Vatican welcomed about 5 million visitors in 1980 which is far lower in comparison to Louvre. Although the Vatican made a sharp jump from 5 million to 9 million, the museum could not reach the Louvre at any time. In contrast to Louvre and Vatican, the London Science museum and Shenzhen museum shoved different trends in the same time period. In 1980 both museums were visited by the same amount of visitors. By the year 2000, these museums lost almost 1 million visitors. After the millennium Shenzhen museum grew gradually and reach the begging numbers back in 2015. On the other hand, the London Science museum continues to fell slightly more than 2 million by the year 2015.
The supplied line graph gives information about the amount of the tourist to four popular
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museums
from 1980 to 1995.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that Louvre and Vatican
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museums
increasing their popularity unlike Shenzhen and London Science
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museums
in 35 years.

In 1980, welcomed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below the 8
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million
tourists visited Louvre and the numbers climbed
next
15 years to 9
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million
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
starting in 1995, Louvre lost
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visitors
for 5 years.
Nevertheless
, Louvre shoved steady decline
next
15
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year
period and reach more than 9
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 2015. The Vatican welcomed about 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 1980 which is far lower
in comparison
to Louvre. Although the Vatican made a sharp jump from 5
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million
to 9
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million
, the
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museum
could not reach the Louvre at any time.

In contrast
to Louvre and Vatican, the London Science
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museum
and Shenzhen
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museum
shoved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trends in the same time period. In 1980 both
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museums
were visited
by the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. By the
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year
2000, these
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museums
lost almost 1
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. After the millennium Shenzhen
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museum
grew
gradually
and reach the begging numbers back in 2015.
On the other hand
, the London Science
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museum
continues to fell
slightly
more than 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
by the
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year
2015.

IELTS academic The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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