Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar char shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese ( too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015.

The bar char shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese ( too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. NJgb
The bar chart given illustrates data regarding the proportion of adults who were overweight or obese between 1965 and 2015, while the pie chart compares of adults population weight range in 2015. Looking at the chart, it is immediately clear that an upward trend was seen in the number of adults who were overweight or obese. Another key feature is that the percentage of adults population register the highest figure of the chart. As for as the bar chart is concerned, in 1965 the adults of overweight or obese comprised 47%. This figure somewhat remained stable at 47% between the next two years studied, after which there was a slight rise in the number of adults who were overweight or obese, accounting for appoximately 58% in 1995. This rate inceased to 70% in 2005 before continuing to go up to north of 72% in 2015. Moving to the pie chart, as can be seen that while the weight range of obese adults population was the highest about 34%, Severely obese of adults population was lowest at 6% in 2015. The percentage of healthy or underweight and overweight citizens witnessed 31% and 29% respectively
The bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrates data regarding the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
between 1965 and 2015, while the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
compares of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
weight range in 2015.

Looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it is immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that an upward trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
. Another key feature is that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
register the highest figure of the chart.

As for as the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
is concerned
, in 1965 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
comprised 47%. This figure somewhat remained stable at 47% between the
next
two years studied, after which there was a slight rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
, accounting for
Possible spelling mistake found.
appoximately
58% in 1995. This rate
Possible spelling mistake found.
inceased
to 70% in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
continuing to go up to north of 72% in 2015.

Moving to the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that while the weight range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "adults'" or "adult's"?
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was the highest about 34%,
Severely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was lowest at 6% in 2015. The percentage of healthy or underweight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
citizens witnessed 31% and 29%
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
respectively

IELTS academic The bar char shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese ( too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar char shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese ( too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015.