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the average hours per week spend for activities around the hone

the average hours per week spend for activities around the hone kx85O
The supplied bar chart demonstrates the hours that men and women spend in some activities at home per week. As an overall trend, we can see that there was a significant increase for men which in watching television and surfing the internet per weeks that they spend their times for. In addition, we can easily see that there is a dramatic difference in surfing the Net between males and females. We can see that the level of cooking was a higher degree in women than men, there was 8% in male and 15% by women. Moreover, the figure for cleaning the house was greater than males as well, there was almost 3 ratios greater contrast to men. In addition, women accounted for 7 percent and bigger by 2 proportion in males. And however, the hours that women and men spend reading had almost the same level. Furthermore, in gardening, men made up 3 percent and this an upward trend had 1% difference in women. Nevertheless, men got the highest trend in surfing the Net and watching television contrast to females. In former trend, it seemed 12 and 14 ratios respectively and in latter degree was 4% and the same level as surfing the Net in men respectively.
The supplied bar chart demonstrates the hours that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
spend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities at home per week.

As an
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there was a significant increase for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
which in watching television and surfing the internet per weeks that they spend their times for.
In addition
, we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there is a dramatic difference in surfing the Net between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the level of cooking was a higher degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, there was 8% in male and 15% by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Moreover
, the figure for cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was greater than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
as well
, there was almost 3 ratios greater contrast to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
accounted for 7 percent and bigger by 2 proportion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
. And
however
, the hours that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
spend reading had almost the same level.
Furthermore
, in gardening,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
made up 3 percent and this an upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
had 1% difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in surfing the Net and watching television contrast to females. In former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, it seemed 12 and 14 ratios
respectively
and in latter degree was 4% and the same level as surfing the Net in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the average hours per week spend for activities around the hone

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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