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the amount of electricity used

the amount of electricity used LBVgR
The line graph shows require for electricity in England amid ordinary days in winter and summer. Overall, the use of electriity in England during ordinary days in winter and summer was different. In winter the demand for electricity was higher than in summer. In summer initially the usage was about 20. 000. Becouse in winter people use electrocity more than they do in summer. From one glance it is evident that English people use electrocity more in the evening. In the first hours of a day people use roughly between 30000 and 40000. At 5 p. m the electrocity used starts to go up reaching nearly 50000. But at midnight it reduces dramatically to 3500.
The line graph
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shows
require for electricity in England amid ordinary days in
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winter
and summer.

Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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electriity
in England during ordinary days in
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winter
and summer was
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different
.

In
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winter
the demand for electricity was higher than in summer.

In summer
initially
the usage was about 20. 000.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Becouse
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
electrocity
more than they do in summer.

From one glance it is evident that English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
electrocity
more in the evening. In the
first
hours of a day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
roughly between 30000 and 40000. At 5 p. m the
Possible spelling mistake found.
electrocity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to go up reaching
nearly
50000.
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But
at midnight it
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reduces
dramatically
to 3500.

IELTS academic the amount of electricity used

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
115 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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