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the number of students involved in various types of clubs at IIUM

the number of students involved in various types of clubs at IIUM nRAjl
The line graph illustrates the number of students involved in various types of clubs at IIUM from 2005 to 2009. Overall, it shows that there are different numbers of students participating in IIUM club activities throughout the period. At the beginning of the period, Community Service clubs was the most preferred club, starting with more than 30 participants. There was a slight decrease in the number of participants until 2006 and remained constant until 2007. However, starting 2007 there was a gradual fall in the number of participants towards the end of the period. Furthermore, sports club also was another preferred club at the beginning of the period with around 30 participants and reaching a peak of more than 30 participants in 2006. Then, the figure shows a slight fall and made a slight fluctuation to 2008 and fell gradually towards 2009. Moreover for recreational clubs around more than 10 participants join the club and the number surged towards the end of the period. As for the language clubs it was the opposite of recreational clubs which started very low around 10 participants. However, the number of participants increased rapidly until 2009. In conclusion, sports clubs were the most preferred club throughout the period compared to the other clubs
The line graph illustrates the
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number
of students involved in various types of
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clubs
at
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IIUM
from 2005 to 2009.
Overall
, it
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shows
that there are
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different
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numbers
of students participating in
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IIUM
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club
activities throughout the period.

At the beginning of the
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period
, Community Service
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clubs
was the most preferred
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club
, starting with more than 30
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participants
. There was a slight decrease in the
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number
of
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participants
until 2006 and remained constant until 2007.
However
, starting 2007 there was a gradual fall in the
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number
of
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participants
towards the
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end
of the
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period
.
Furthermore
, sports
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club
also
was another preferred
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club
at the beginning of the
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period
with around 30
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participants
and reaching a peak of more than 30
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participants
in 2006. Then, the figure
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shows
a slight fall and made a slight fluctuation to 2008 and fell
gradually
towards 2009.
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Moreover
for recreational
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clubs
around more than 10
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participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
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club
and the
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number
surged towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
for the language
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clubs
it was the opposite of recreational
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clubs
which
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started
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very
low around 10
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participants
.
However
, the
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number
of
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participants
increased
rapidly
until 2009.

In conclusion
, sports
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clubs
were the most preferred
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club
throughout the
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period
compared to the other
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clubs
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IELTS academic the number of students involved in various types of clubs at IIUM

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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