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Countries and the wealth in the asian continents

Countries and the wealth in the asian continents d5Xwp
The bar graph illustrates the information about population and global wealth across various countries such as North America, China, Other Asia Pacefic, India, Europe, Africa, Latin America & Caribbean and Rich Asia-Pacefic. From the graph we can see that, vertical axis represents a percentage with 5 units of each and the horizontal axis denotes various countries. In general, the data says that as the population of the country is less, then contribution of wealth globally is more and vice versa except in Europe. Turning to the inner details, North America and Rich Asia-Pacefic the population is underside, that is approximately 5 percent, but their wealth distribution to the global is on a higher side, which makes up 34 percent and 24 percent. Countries like India, Africa, China and other Asia Pacefic consists of higher population, but their wealth contribution to the global is on a lower side, which makes up of about roughly 1-3 percent. Overall, the data says that Europe is the top second country that contributes about 30 percent of wealth to the global with 15 percent of population. North America is the leader in contributing wealth to the global.
The bar graph illustrates the information about
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population
and
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global
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wealth
across various
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countries
such as North America, China, Other Asia
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pacefic
, India, Europe, Africa, Latin America & Caribbean and Rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asia-Pacefic
.

From the graph we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, vertical axis represents a percentage with 5 units of each and the horizontal axis denotes various
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countries
.
In general
, the data says that as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is less, then contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
globally is more and vice versa except in Europe.

Turning to the inner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, North America and Rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asia-Pacefic
the
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population
is underside,
that is
approximately 5
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percent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
distribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
is on a higher side, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 34
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percent
and 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
like India, Africa, China and other Asia
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pacefic
consists of higher
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population
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
is on a lower side, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up of about roughly 1-3 percent.

Overall
, the data says that Europe is the top second
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country
that contributes about 30
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
with 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. North America is the leader in contributing
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wealth
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
.
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IELTS academic Countries and the wealth in the asian continents

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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