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the alterations of the crime in Manchester city centre in three various zones in ten years consecutive.starting from 2003

the alterations of the crime in Manchester city centre in three various zones in ten years consecutive. starting from 2003 Nl2jg
The given line graph illustrates the information about the alterations of the crime in Manchester city centre in three various zones in ten years consecutive. starting from 2003. Overall, the rate of crime in Burglary indicated a downward trend, while that of Car Theft increased. According to the graph, it can be seen that in 2003, the Burglary city has the highest amount of crime, which was approximately almost 3500 cases. This number was significantly higher; almost 7 times higher than the figure of the Robbery city which accounted for around only 500 cases. The second-highest rate was the Car Theft city, with roughly almost 2500 cases. between 2004 and 2008, although Burglary city experienced a dramatic decrease in crime amount, dropping to only 1000 cases, its rate rose slightly to approximately 1500 cases in 2012. Moreover, between 2004 and 2008, the Car Theft city indicated a fluctuated trend. However, by 2012, its number increased gradually to around 2800, making its rate was the majority of the three cities. In addition, at the begging, the figure for the Robby city’s rate rose steadily to around 1000 cases in 2005. However, its rate experienced a downward trend after passing six years, which was decline to a similar figure of 2003’s rate.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the information about the alterations of the
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crime
in Manchester city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in three various zones in ten years consecutive.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
starting
from 2003.
Overall
, the
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rate
of
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crime
in Burglary indicated a downward trend, while that of Car Theft increased.

According to the graph, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 2003, the Burglary city has the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, which was approximately almost 3500 cases. This number was
significantly
higher; almost 7 times higher than the figure of the Robbery city which accounted for around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
500 cases. The second-highest
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rate
was the Car Theft city, with roughly almost 2500 cases.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
between
2004 and 2008, although Burglary city experienced a dramatic decrease in
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crime
amount, dropping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1000 cases, its
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rate
rose
slightly
to approximately 1500 cases in 2012.

Moreover
, between 2004 and 2008, the Car Theft city indicated a fluctuated trend.
However
, by 2012, its number increased
gradually
to around 2800, making its
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rate
was the majority of the three
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cities
.
In addition
, at the begging, the figure for the Robby city’s
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rate
rose
steadily
to around 1000 cases in 2005.
However
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
experienced a downward trend after passing six years, which was decline to a similar figure of 2003’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.

IELTS academic the alterations of the crime in Manchester city centre in three various zones in ten years consecutive. starting from 2003

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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