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The pie charts illustrate electricity use by various fields in Eastern Australia between the years 2007 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate electricity use by various fields in Eastern Australia between the years 2007 and 2010. lLmyD
The pie charts illustrates the data about the proportion expenditure of electricity by eight catogaries differences in stern Australia between 2007 and 2010. Overall, the figure of used electricity in residental account for the highest in both two years. In addition, people consumed similar percentage of their budget on the remaining transport and agriculture. In 2007, people in Eastern Australia comsumed on residental and comercial were exactly the same in both years, at 28% and 23%, respectively. Likewise, the proportion of mining and transport at 9% and 1% for electricity use in two years which were shown of total expenditure, but the lowest. The percentage of electricity used by aluminlum at 13% in 2007, whil15e their expenditure fell to 11% in 2010. 13% of electricity in 2007 were to used in Eastern Australia, and this reducted only 9% after three years since then. By contrast, there was a increase in other metals, which went up from 12% in 2007 to 18% in 2010.
The pie charts illustrates the data about the proportion expenditure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
by eight
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catogaries
differences in stern Australia between 2007 and 2010.
Overall
, the figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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electricity
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
account for the highest in both two years.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consumed similar percentage of their budget on the remaining transport and agriculture.

In 2007,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Eastern Australia
Possible spelling mistake found.
comsumed
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
comercial
were exactly the same in both years, at 28% and 23%,
respectively
.
Likewise
, the proportion of mining and transport at 9% and 1% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in two years which
were shown
of total expenditure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lowest.

The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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aluminlum
at 13% in 2007, whil15e their expenditure fell to 11% in 2010. 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 2007 were
Did you mean "too"?
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Eastern Australia, and this
Possible spelling mistake found.
reducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9% after three years since then. By contrast, there was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increase in other metals, which went up from 12% in 2007 to 18% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate electricity use by various fields in Eastern Australia between the years 2007 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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