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Task1 olympic games diagram

Task1 olympic games diagram wOE7n
The line graph illustrates the number of participants in the Olympics since it started until 2012 while the chart demonstrates the number of genders divided during this period of time. Looking at the graph, it can be seen that there’s a gradual upward trend in 60 years (from) the beginning, followed by a sharp rise of numbers in the last 28 years. The chart, on the other hand, shows that men had increased consistently to almost double of their numbers in 1924 whilst the women contribution, which was almost zero in the beginning, had climbed slightly until 1952, subsequently had continued to go up in next 32 years and eventually had surged dramatically till 2012. In other words, The gap between men and women participating in the Olympics had narrowed over the years. Overall, although both genders had followed an ascending trend throughout the years, the number of male contestants had remained higher than female ones.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants in the Olympics since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
until 2012 while the chart demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of genders divided during this period of time.

Looking at the graph, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there’s a gradual upward trend in 60 years (from) the beginning, followed by a sharp rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in the last 28 years.

The chart,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had increased
consistently
to almost double of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in 1924 whilst the women contribution, which was almost zero in the beginning, had climbed
slightly
until 1952,
subsequently
had continued to go up in
next
32 years and
eventually
had surged
dramatically
till 2012.
In other words
, The gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women participating in the Olympics had narrowed over the years.

Overall
, although both genders had followed an ascending trend throughout the years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male contestants had remained higher than female ones.
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IELTS academic Task1 olympic games diagram

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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