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Task 1, Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Task 1, Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. PJrw
The pie charts compare the percentages of online shopping sales in different retail sectors in New Zealand in years 2003 and 2013. For three of sectors, over this time frame there was significant change in their proportion of online transactions. Overall, the travel sector had the majority of online sales 36% in 2003, but this percentage had dropped to 29% in 2013. Across the same ten year period, the purchase of films and music online had increases from 21% to 33%, so we can see that transaction grew by 12%. In 2003, the clothing industry boasted an 21% total online sales in New Zealand. However, by 2013 the figure had fallen considerably to 16%. Interestingly online sales of books was more than sales of cloths, even though the sales of books was only 22% of the market.
The pie charts compare the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
retail sectors in New Zealand in years 2003 and 2013. For three of sectors, over this time frame there was significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transactions.

Overall
, the travel sector had the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
36% in 2003,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this percentage had dropped to 29% in 2013. Across the same
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
period, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of films and music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
had increases from 21% to 33%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that transaction grew by 12%.

In 2003, the clothing industry boasted an 21% total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in New Zealand.
However
, by 2013 the figure had fallen
considerably
to 16%.
Interestingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of books was more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of cloths,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of books was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% of the market.

IELTS academic Task 1, Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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