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description of your study plan ? what kind of topic that you will write? describe your activities outside campus?

description of your study plan? what kind of topic that you will write? describe your activities outside campus? M2lp
Study Plan I am Anggit Kurnia from Geological Engineering of Hasanuddin University (Unhas). My strong determination is to develop renewable energy in Indonesia. I am specifically interested to continue my education in Master of Energy program at University of Auckland (UoA) in New Zealand, which offers geothermal energy as its concentration. It is related to my educational background Bachelor’s degree in Geological Engineering, several kinds of research, and projects I have been working on. This campus provides abundant opportunities in research for students and boasts of highly experienced faculty, well-equipped laboratories, access to the latest technology, many references, and opportunities. Its innovative spirit has made it a hub of new technologies, research, and development in multidiscipline major. Besides, it has many professors and lecturers, that researched about geothermal energy then it became reference research for people around the world. University of Auckland itself was ranked 81st Best university in the world by QS World University rankings 2020. I specifically interested in this program because of these reasons, I choose this university to get a highly qualified education with Internationally renowned professors in that field. Indonesia, especially Pertamina Geothermal Energy, collaborates with this university in geothermal projects in Indonesia for developing technology and human resources. In addition, New Zealand is one of the countries that using geothermal energy above 15% as their electricity source. This country has an excellent education system, internationally accredited qualifications, ample research opportunities, and a matchless quality of life. While studying here, I can be assured of a welcoming and friendly society with an excellent support system for international students. This study program is master by taught and has 180 points with 15 points per course for 24 months. The Lecture structure consists of two compulsory core courses, two research projects, and seven elective courses. In the first semester, I will take Energy Resources, Energy Technology, Disaster Resilience and Management, and Energy Technology. Following this, Research Project, Geothermal Resources and their Use, Geothermal Energy Technology, and Geothermal Exploration will be taken in the second semester. In the third semester, I will take Research Project, Project Management, and Industrial Organization. For a research project in the third semester, I am interested in one of the projects that Professor Dr. Arnold Stockli and some of his mentoring students on "Thermochronometric and Geochemical Investigation of Blind Geothermal Sources". In line with my interest in geothermal, the topic that I will write in this thesis is “Geothermal Exploration in Volcanic Areas”. This theme selection is really vital as this will provide a strong foundation upon which to build the rest of my work as a geoscientist. This method is using the mineral dan geochemical aspects in order to recognize the temperature and pressure of the rock under the Earth’s surface. Utilizing the latest technology which is efficient and accurate to analyze the geochemical conditions of minerals to determine the position and geothermal resources type in certain locations. In addition, this method is cheap enough to be used in geothermal exploration for volcanic areas such as Indonesia which is very complex in structural geological settings. I desire to be the mentoring student of Professor Dr. Arnold Stockli who expert in this field, so that I can learn various knowledge about exploration and develop methods of geothermal energy. Moreover, I can have broader knowledge about geothermal energy from this collaboration. In this table below, I attach details regarding the syllabus structured that plan would be taken as follows in Master of Energy program at University of Auckland. Semester Course Title Points 1 Energy Resources 15 1 Energy Technology 15 1 Disaster Resilience and Management 15 1 Research Practice in Environmental Science 15 2 Research Project 15 2 Geothermal Resources and their Use 15 2 Geothermal Energy Technology 15 2 Geothermal Exploration 15 3 Research Project 30 3 Industrial Organization 15 3 Project Management 15 Total Credits 180 I am very interested in this field because I want to solve Indonesia's energy security problem. Indonesia still lacks an electricity supply of as much as 10% every year, so it requires other energy sources. In addition, the Government is committed to developing the use of Renewable Energy through the National Energy Policy in order to create energy resilience and independence for the country; this is because of its enormous potential. Therefore, by studying at a Masters in Energy, I am able to take advantage of the location of our country geologically to get other energy sources. Indonesia is on the Pacific Rim line or better known as the "Ring of Fire" which causes Indonesia to have numerous volcanoes. As a result, our country is endowed with abundant natural resources. Approximately 40% of the world's geothermal energy reserves are located beneath the surface of Indonesia, so our country has the largest geothermal energy reserves in the world and has a high potential for an excellent renewable energy source to be developed as the main electricity supply. However, our country only uses 4-5% of the existing geothermal capacity due to the high costs involved in the exploration, exploitation, and production of this geothermal energy. With the knowledge that I got in Auckland, I will apply the geothermal exploration method of alteration minerals with Short-Wave Infrared Reflectance (SWIR) technology in exploration at geothermal prospect location points. With this method, we can develop costs in this energy source, so that state-owned companies in Indonesia are able to develop geothermal energy. Beside that, while studying in New Zealand, I will establish relations with people in geothermal sectors in that country then introduce the prospect of this energy to them, so that they can open opportunities to research and invest in our country. This energy is renewable energy that is free of CO2 gas emissions and greenhouse gas emissions so that it can reduce the impact of global warming and health issues in Indonesia. This energy is environmentally friendly, this large potential contribution needs to be increased to meet domestic energy needs in order to reduce the dependence on depleting fossil energy sources. Geothermal energy potential expected to meet the target of developing geothermal energy to generate electricity through Geothermal Power Plants (PLTP). As a clean and renewable energy source, which provides electricity continuously, geothermal can reduce the country's dependence on coal power and other fossil fuels. If geothermal resources can be easily accessible, they are cost-competitive with coal and natural gas. Outside the campus activities, I want to join as a research assistant at the Master of Energy since I have experience in this field in my Bachelor's Program. I am planning to actively participate in several activities as follows; the PPI Auckland and PPI New Zealand. I will become an Indonesian agent who has high integrity and nationalism by showing a friendly and moral attitude as well as promoting Indonesia by following cultural recognition activities. I have an intention to join the geothermal energy community so that I can establish cooperative relationships and become a medium for the transfer of technology and knowledge from New Zealand to Indonesia. Therewith, I desire to engage professional organizations such as the New Zealand Geothermal Association, Indonesia Geothermal Association, and the International Geothermal Association in order to connect with experts and projects as I can receive, share, and collaborate with international government and industry for sustainable development of geothermal resources. In the break of season, I want to join as an intern at the largest geothermal energy company in New Zealand, “Mercury Energy” to apply my knowledge directly in the field I concern for. As soon as completing my master's energy education I will return to Indonesia. I will consider registering in one of the largest energy companies in Indonesia, namely “Pertamina Geothermal Energy” which is in line with the specifications that I have previously got in the geology and geothermal energy sector, especially for exploration and development. In the first three years, I will devote myself and apply all my knowledge as a consultant geologist to find geothermal energy sources in Indonesia and develop the potential that have been previously produced in this company. Then in the next three years, after having a lot of experience as a geologist who focuses on the field of energy, I will share knowledge and provide training related to my field to geology and geoscience students throughout Indonesia. Another option, I want to contribute as an assistant lecturer in geothermal courses as well as geothermal-related courses and practicum on campus where I have studied at Hasanuddin University. Apart from that, I would like to participate actively in the organization of the Indonesian Geologist Association (IAGI) and the Indonesian and international geothermal experts association (IGI). In the next 10 years, since I already have work and teaching experience, I have plan to continue my higher education in Doctoral of Energy program at University of Auckland to gain more knowledge for solving the problems that I have got while working in this field. Furthermore, I am planning to open my own foundation to provide scholarships for children in underprivileged families to be able to continue their education to the bachelor or master levels.
Study Plan

I am
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Anggit
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Kurnia
from Geological Engineering of
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Hasanuddin
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University
(
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Unhas
). My strong determination is to
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develop
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renewable
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energy
in Indonesia. I am
specifically
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interested
to continue my
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education
in
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Master
of
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Energy
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program
at
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University
of Auckland (
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UoA
) in
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New
Zealand, which offers geothermal
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energy
as its concentration. It
is related
to my educational background Bachelor’s degree in Geological Engineering, several kinds of
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research
, and
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projects
I have been working on. This campus
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provides
abundant
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opportunities
in
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research
for
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students
and boasts of
highly
experienced faculty, well-equipped laboratories, access to the latest
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technology
,
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many
references, and
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opportunities
. Its innovative spirit has made it a hub of
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new
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technologies
,
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research
, and development in
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multidiscipline
major.
Besides
, it has
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many
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professors
and lecturers, that researched about geothermal
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energy
then it became reference
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research
for
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people
around the
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world
.
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University
of Auckland itself
was ranked
81st Best
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university
in the
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world
by QS
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World
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University
rankings 2020. I
specifically
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interested
in this
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program
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because
of these reasons, I choose this
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university
to
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get
a
highly
qualified
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education
with
Internationally
renowned
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professors
in that
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field
. Indonesia,
especially
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Pertamina
Geothermal
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Energy
, collaborates with this
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university
in geothermal
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projects
in Indonesia for developing
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technology
and human resources.
In addition
,
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New
Zealand is one of the
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countries
that using geothermal
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energy
above 15% as their
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electricity
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source
. This
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country
has an excellent
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education
system,
internationally
accredited qualifications, ample
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research
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opportunities
, and a matchless quality of life. While studying here, I can
be assured
of a welcoming and friendly society with an excellent support system for
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international
students.

This study
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program
is
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master
by taught and has 180 points with 15 points per
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course
for 24 months. The Lecture structure consists of two compulsory core
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courses
, two
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research
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projects
, and seven elective
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courses
. In the
first
semester, I will take
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Energy
Resources,
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Energy
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Technology
, Disaster Resilience and Management, and
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Energy
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Technology
. Following this,
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Research
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Project
, Geothermal Resources and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
, Geothermal
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Energy
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Technology
, and Geothermal
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Exploration
will
be taken
in the second semester. In the third semester, I will take
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Research
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Project
,
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Project
Management, and Industrial Organization.

For a
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research
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project
in the third semester, I am
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interested
in one of the
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projects
that
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Professor
Dr. Arnold
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Stockli
and
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some
of his mentoring
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students
on
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"
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Thermochronometric
and Geochemical Investigation of Blind Geothermal Sources
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"
. In line with my interest in geothermal, the topic that I will write in this thesis is “Geothermal
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Exploration
in Volcanic Areas”. This theme selection is
really
vital as this will
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provide
a strong foundation upon which to build the rest of my work as a
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geoscientist
. This
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method
is using the mineral
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dan
geochemical aspects in
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order
to recognize the temperature and pressure of the rock under the Earth’s surface. Utilizing the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which is efficient and accurate to analyze the geochemical conditions of minerals to determine the position and geothermal resources type in certain locations.
In addition
, this
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method
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in geothermal
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exploration
for volcanic areas such as Indonesia which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex in structural geological settings. I desire to be the mentoring
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student
of
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Professor
Dr. Arnold
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Stockli
who expert in this
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field
,
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so
that I can learn various
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knowledge
about
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exploration
and
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develop
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methods
of geothermal
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energy
.
Moreover
, I can have broader
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knowledge
about geothermal
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energy
from this collaboration.

In this table below, I attach
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details
regarding the syllabus structured that plan would
be taken
as follows in
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Master
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Auckland.

Semester Course Title Points

1 Energy Resources 15

1 Energy Technology 15

1 Disaster Resilience and Management 15

1 Research Practice in Environmental Science 15

2 Research Project 15

2 Geothermal Resources and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
15

2 Geothermal
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Energy
Technology 15

2 Geothermal Exploration 15

3 Research Project 30

3 Industrial Organization
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15 3 Project
Management 15

Total Credits 180

I am
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very
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interested
in this
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field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
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want
to solve Indonesia's
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energy
security problem. Indonesia
still
lacks an
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electricity
supply of as much as 10% every
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year
,
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so
it requires other
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energy
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sources
.
In addition
, the
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Government
is committed
to developing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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Renewable
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Energy
through the National
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Energy
Policy in
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order
to create
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energy
resilience and independence for the
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country
; this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its enormous
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potential
.
Therefore
, by studying at a
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Masters
in
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Energy
, I am able to take advantage of the location of our
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country
geologically
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
other
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. Indonesia is on the Pacific Rim line or better known as the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Ring of Fire
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"
which causes Indonesia to have numerous volcanoes.
As a result
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is endowed
with abundant natural resources. Approximately 40% of the world's geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
reserves
are located
beneath the surface of Indonesia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our
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country
has the largest geothermal
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energy
reserves in the
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world
and has a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
for an excellent
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renewable
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energy
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source
to
be developed
as the main
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electricity
supply.
However
, our
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country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
4-5% of the existing geothermal capacity due to the high costs involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
, exploitation, and production of this geothermal energy.

With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
in Auckland, I will apply the geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of alteration minerals with Short-Wave Infrared Reflectance (
Possible spelling mistake found.
SWIR
)
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technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
at geothermal prospect location points. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, we can
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develop
costs in this
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energy
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source
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that state-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Indonesia are able to
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develop
geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Beside that, while studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, I will establish relations with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in geothermal sectors in that
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country
then introduce the prospect of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can open
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opportunities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and invest in our country.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
that is
free of CO2 gas emissions and greenhouse gas emissions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the impact of global warming and health issues in Indonesia. This
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energy
is
environmentally
friendly, this large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
contribution needs to
be increased
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
domestic
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energy
needs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dependence on depleting fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. Geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the target of developing geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
through Geothermal Power Plants (
Possible spelling mistake found.
PLTP
). As a clean and
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renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
continuously
, geothermal can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the country's dependence on coal power and other fossil fuels. If geothermal resources can be
easily
accessible, they
are cost
-competitive with coal and natural gas.

Outside the campus activities, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
assistant at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Master
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy
since I have experience in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in my Bachelor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Program
. I am planning to
actively
participate in several activities as follows; the PPI Auckland and PPI
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. I will become an Indonesian agent who has high integrity and nationalism by showing a friendly and moral attitude
as well
as promoting Indonesia by following cultural recognition activities.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have an intention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can establish cooperative relationships and become a medium for the transfer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand to Indonesia. Therewith, I desire to engage professional organizations such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand Geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
, Indonesia Geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
Geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to connect with experts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
as I can receive, share, and collaborate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and industry for sustainable development of geothermal resources. In the break of season, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
as an intern at the largest geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, “Mercury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy”
to apply my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
directly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
I concern for.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as completing my master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
I will return to Indonesia. I will consider registering in one of the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Indonesia,
namely
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pertamina
Geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy”
which is in line with the specifications that I have previously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
in the geology and geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sector,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
and development. In the
first
three years, I will devote myself and apply all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
as a consultant geologist to find geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in Indonesia and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
that have been previously produced in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Then in the
next
three years, after having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience as a geologist who focuses on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, I will share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
training related to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
to geology and geoscience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
throughout Indonesia. Another option, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to contribute as an assistant lecturer in geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
as well
as geothermal-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and practicum on campus where I have studied at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hasanuddin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. Apart from that, I would like to participate
actively
in the organization of the Indonesian Geologist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
IAGI
) and the Indonesian and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
geothermal
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "experts'" or "expert's"?
experts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
association
(IGI).

In the
next
10 years, since I already have work and teaching experience, I have plan to continue my higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in Doctoral of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Auckland to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
for solving the problems that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
while working in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Furthermore
, I am planning to open my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
foundation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
scholarships for children in underprivileged families to be able to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the bachelor or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
master
levels.
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IELTS academic description of your study plan? what kind of topic that you will write? describe your activities outside campus?

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
1492 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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