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Table graph representation and prediction of the change in the elderly community (aged 65 and above) in over three countries

Table graph representation and prediction of the change in the elderly community (aged 65 and above) in over three countries yxn2E
Following shows a tabular representation and prediction of the change in the elderly community (aged 65 and above) in over three countries (Canada, Germany, UK) Overall, there is a percentage increase in all 3 countries which leads to the conclusive hike in predicted-society in the year 2030. Clearly, Germany has the highest proportion of people escalation while UK having the least over the given period of time. Between 1988 and 2000 there is a considerable increase of elderly citizens in Germany and Canada of about 5%, 20. 45% - 25. 32% and 16. 32% to 20. 67% respectively. While, the Britons had a marginal rise in the percentage of increase in the community of the aged. It is anticipated that with the current growth rate all three countries would have a steady increase populous of the aged group. The expected jump about 26. 32% for Canada, 30. 42% for Germany and 20. 35 % for UK
Following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a tabular representation and prediction of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the elderly community (aged 65 and above) in over three countries (Canada, Germany, UK)

Overall
, there is a percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in all 3 countries which leads to the conclusive hike in predicted-society in the year 2030.
Clearly
, Germany has the highest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
escalation while UK having the least over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time. Between 1988 and 2000 there is a considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of elderly citizens in Germany and Canada of about 5%, 20. 45%
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
25. 32% and 16. 32% to 20. 67%
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the Britons had a marginal rise in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the community of the aged.

It
is anticipated
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
growth rate all three countries would have a steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
populous of the aged group. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
jump about 26. 32% for Canada, 30. 42% for Germany and 20. 35 % for UK

IELTS academic Table graph representation and prediction of the change in the elderly community (aged 65 and above) in over three countries

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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