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The Table Below Shows the Number of Visitors to Ashdown Museum

The Table Below Shows the Number of Visitors to Ashdown Museum G9gkQ
The table charts outline information about the amount of the visitors to Ashdown museum and guests reactions with satisfied, very satisfied, dissatisfied and no respone between the year before and after refurbishment. Overall, it is evident that after refurbishment the amount of visitors with satisfaction significantly increased. First of all, year before the renovation dissatisfied guests had had about 40% and took first place however after refurbishment it has declined to 15%. Then before refurbishment the quantity of satisfied visitors had come up in second place with 30% likewise after renovation it has risen to about 40% and reached the top. The number of very satisfied comers had obtained about 15 % and was at third place before the repair however after refurbishment it has increased to 35% and held second place. Before repair at the bottom of this category were very dissatisfied and no response comers and after refurbishment both of them got the same results and shared last place together with 5%. Finally, the total amount visitors the year before refurbishment had obtained about 74, 000 people likewise after repair it has increased to about 92, 000.
The table charts outline information about the amount of the
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visitors
to
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Ashdown
museum and guests reactions with
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satisfied
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
, dissatisfied and no
Possible spelling mistake found.
respone
between the year
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before
and after
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refurbishment
.
Overall
, it is evident that after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with satisfaction
significantly
increased.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the renovation dissatisfied guests had had about 40% and took
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
however
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
it has declined to 15%. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with 30%
likewise
after renovation it has risen to about 40% and reached the top. The number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
comers had obtained about 15 % and was at third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the repair
however
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
it has increased to 35% and held second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
repair at the bottom of this category were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied and no response comers and after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
both of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the same results and shared last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
together with 5%.
Finally
, the total amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
the year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
had obtained about 74, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
likewise
after repair it has increased to about 92, 000.
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IELTS academic The Table Below Shows the Number of Visitors to Ashdown Museum

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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