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The chart below shows smartphone ownership by income and age grouping in June 2013

The chart below shows smartphone ownership by income and age grouping in June 2013 RRr3Y
The chart illustrates amount of adults within each/age group who own a smartphone in June 2013. The units consist of incomes which are less than 30, 000 dollars, between 30, 000 and 74, 000 dollars, and 75, 000 dollars. Units are classified by some age groups such as 18-29, 30-49, 50-64 and 65+ years. Overall the highest amounts belongs to group of 18-29 age range with 77%, 81%, 90% respectively, while the lowest amounts belongs to group of 65+ age range with 8%, 21%, 43% recpectively. Moreover, in each group ages, 75, 000 or more dollars has the highest amount, while the lowest amount belongs to less than 30, 000 dollars. Within the increasing income level, the number of people who own a smartphone is increasing steadily in all group ages. Each age group has similar trend each other. Within the decreasing age, owning a smartphone is increasing. For instance, who have less than 30, 000 dollars is decreasing from 18-29 to 65+ steadily.
The chart illustrates
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amount
of adults within each/age
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group
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a smartphone in June 2013. The units consist of incomes which are less than 30, 000
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dollars
, between 30, 000 and 74, 000
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dollars
, and 75, 000
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dollars
. Units
are classified
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
such as 18-29, 30-49, 50-64 and 65+ years.

Overall
the highest
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amounts
belongs to
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group
of 18-29
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age
range with 77%, 81%, 90%
respectively
, while the lowest
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amounts
belongs to
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group
of 65+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range with 8%, 21%, 43%
Possible spelling mistake found.
recpectively
.

Moreover
, in each
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group
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ages
, 75, 000 or more
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dollars
has the highest
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amount
, while the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
belongs to less than 30, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. Within the increasing income level, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a smartphone is increasing
steadily
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
has similar trend each other. Within the decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, owning a smartphone is increasing.
For instance
, who have less than 30, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
is decreasing from 18-29 to 65+
steadily
.

IELTS academic The chart below shows smartphone ownership by income and age grouping in June 2013

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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