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table about the international tourists arrivals to 8 different countries

table about the international tourists arrivals to 8 different countries E7EkD
The table compares the number of international visitors arriving to 8 different countries over a period of one year starting from 2009 and the total change of each nation. It is clear that France remained the highest figure over the shown period, while Germany had the significant change within a year. As can be seen from the table, in 2009, France registered the highest in the number of international tourists, at 76 million people. Meanwhile, the lowest figure can be seen in Germany and Hong Kong at 11 million and 10 million visitors respectively. The other countries varied from 22 to 66 million travellers. Looking at the table in more detail, the year 2010 witnessed a considerable change in these countries’ tourists. Visitors to France stabilized and remain the most significant tourist attraction. Similarly, Hong Kong was the least favourable place to visit, with only 9 million people, which reduced the visitors number by 11%. Germany, in contrast, had an incredible change which increased 109% from the previous year. Whereas other countries experienced a gradual rise, except the phenomenal growth of Turkey, China and Germany.
The table compares the number of international
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visitors
arriving to 8
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different
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countries
over a period of one year starting from 2009 and the total
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change
of each nation.

It is
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clear
that France remained the highest figure over the shown period, while Germany had the significant
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change
within a year.

As can be
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seen
from the table, in 2009, France registered the highest in the number of international tourists, at 76
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Meanwhile, the lowest figure can be
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seen
in Germany and Hong Kong at 11
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million
and 10
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million
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visitors
respectively
. The other
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countries
varied from 22 to 66
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.

Looking at the table in more detail, the year 2010 witnessed a considerable
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change
in these
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countries’
tourists.
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Visitors
to France stabilized and remain the most significant tourist attraction.
Similarly
, Hong Kong was the least
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favourable
place to visit, with
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only
9
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
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reduced
the
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visitors
number by 11%. Germany,
in contrast
, had an incredible
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change
which increased 109% from the previous year. Whereas other
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countries
experienced a gradual rise, except the phenomenal growth of Turkey, China and Germany.
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IELTS academic table about the international tourists arrivals to 8 different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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