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The given pie charts show how people went to work and returned home in two years. Write a report in no less than 150 words

The given pie charts show how people went to work and returned home in two years. Write a report in no less than 150 words XyJMA
The average distance people traveling to reach office and come back to their home was 3. 5 kilometers in 1959 and this distance rose to 19 kilometers in 2009. There was a considerable increase in the average time to and from work, from 17 minutes to 42 minutes in 2009. The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of modes of transportation people used to travel to and from work in 1959 and 2009. The use of cars by daily commuters increased to a great extent between 1959 and 2009. By contrast, the percentage of people going to work on foot declined significantly. about 55% of people traveling to work on foot fell over half in comparision with the primary rate. Whereas, the cars became a good choice for more people, from only 10% to over one-third of the total over the period shown. This period saw a slight decrease in the proportion of daily commuters using the bus, while the figure for other modes of transportation dropped insignificantly, only 2%. And the number of frequent trains remain unchanged, at 15%
The average distance
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people
traveling to reach office and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their home was 3. 5 kilometers in 1959 and this distance rose to 19 kilometers in 2009. There was a considerable increase in the average time to and from
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work
, from 17 minutes to 42 minutes in 2009. The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of modes of transportation
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel to and from
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work
in 1959 and 2009. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars by daily commuters increased to a great extent between 1959 and 2009. By contrast, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
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work
on foot declined
significantly
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
about
55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on foot fell over half in
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparision
with the primary rate. Whereas, the cars became a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for more
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people
, from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% to over one-third of the total over the period shown. This period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decrease in the proportion of daily commuters using the bus, while the figure for other modes of transportation dropped
insignificantly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%. And the number of frequent trains remain unchanged, at 15%
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IELTS academic The given pie charts show how people went to work and returned home in two years. Write a report in no less than 150 words

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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