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The bar graph shows the proportion of internet used by people in Uk from 2005to 2006.

The bar graph shows the proportion of internet used by people in Uk from 2005to 2006. DYAek
The information related using network through the British individuals is depicted by bar graph. The data is calibrated into percentage. Overall, while the use of internet was less by the 65age groups over the period given, excessive used by the 25age people. At the first glance, it is clear, aged 25groups showed a rapid growth to 75%in 2005, whereas it decreased slightly around 70%. in next year. In the terms of 35 age groups, the number of British people used network approximately 60% and after one year it rose from 60%to 70%in 2006. With the regard of 65 age groups, they followed same pattern in both years which was accounted about 50%.
The information related using network through the British individuals
is depicted
by bar graph. The data
is calibrated
into percentage.

Overall
, while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet was less by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
65age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
25age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. At the
first
glance, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
25groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rapid growth to 75%in 2005, whereas it decreased
slightly
around 70%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
next
year.

In the terms of 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, the number of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
network approximately 60% and after one year it rose from 60%to 70%in 2006.

With the regard of 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, they followed same pattern in both years which
was accounted
about 50%.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the proportion of internet used by people in Uk from 2005to 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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