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survey of people's coffee habits in autralia

survey of people's coffee habits in autralia m37YN
The Bar graph illustrates the percentage of Australian citizens' coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in five cities(Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart). The graphs are the result of a survey conducted in the last four weeks. Overall, the number of people visiting a cafe for a coffee or tea is more than buying an instant or fresh coffee. The graphs show the citizens are less interested in buying fresh coffee in all the five cities. In Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, the percentage of citizens visiting a cafe for coffee or tea is above 60%, buying instant coffee is around 45% in Sydney and Melbourne, whereas in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart it is in the range of 50-55%. Adelaide is the only city where the instant coffee percentage is slightly more significant than the coffee or tea bought from the cafe. The percentage of fresh coffee consumption is relatively less when compared with other forms in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. In Sydney and Melbourne, Fresh coffee percentages and instant coffee percentages are competitive.
The Bar graph illustrates the
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percentage
of Australian citizens'
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coffee
and
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tea
purchasing and consuming habits in five cities(Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart). The graphs are the result of a survey conducted in the last four weeks.

Overall
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
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tea
is more than buying an instant or
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fresh
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coffee
. The graphs
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show
the citizens are less interested in buying
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fresh
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coffee
in all the five cities.

In Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of citizens visiting a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
is above 60%, buying instant
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coffee
is around 45% in Sydney and Melbourne, whereas in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart

it is in the range of 50-55%.

Adelaide is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
city where the instant
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coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is
slightly
more significant than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
consumption is
relatively
less when compared with other forms in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. In Sydney and Melbourne,
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Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
and instant
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coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
are competitive.
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IELTS academic survey of people's coffee habits in autralia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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