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the charts below show th results of a quetionnaire that asked visitors to the International hotel. make comparision and sumaried the figure.

the charts below show th results of a quetionnaire that asked visitors to the International hotel. make comparision and sumaried the figure. 0EO03
The two pie charts illustrate how customers rated Intercontinental Hotel services through questionnaires conducted in 2 different years. As can be seen clearly from the survey, clients tended to be happier with the hotel's services after a 5-year period which is displayed apparently in the survey. In 2005, the percentage of satisfied customers was the highest, at more than two-fifths. However, this figure experienced a dramatic decrease, merely 17% in 2010. At the same time, there was a similar downward trend in that of people questioned felt unhappy with the hotel's customer services. 2010 witnessed a remarkable fall in that of people surveyed rating poor and terrible, by 9 % and 11% respectively By stark contrast, there was a sharp growth in the proportion of respondents who had good experiences with these services. After 5 year period, that of people rating excellent and good had risen to around a third and two-fifths respectively.
The two pie charts illustrate how customers rated Intercontinental Hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
through questionnaires conducted in 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
from the survey, clients tended to be happier with the hotel's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
after a 5-year period which
is displayed
apparently
in the survey.

In 2005, the percentage of satisfied customers was the highest, at more than two-fifths.
However
, this figure experienced a dramatic decrease,
merely
17% in 2010. At the same time, there was a similar downward trend in that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
questioned felt unhappy with the hotel's customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. 2010 witnessed a remarkable fall in that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
surveyed rating poor and terrible, by 9 % and 11%
respectively


By stark contrast, there was a sharp growth in the proportion of respondents who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experiences with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. After
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
5 year
period, that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rating excellent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
had risen to around a third and two-fifths
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the charts below show th results of a quetionnaire that asked visitors to the International hotel. make comparision and sumaried the figure.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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