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Top Countries with medals in the Olympics

Top Countries with medals in the Olympics yXoGM
The bar graphs show the five highest ranking medal winners of all time, including the winter and summer olympics. The first graph are the winter olympics, having Norway with more than one hundred gold medals, 250 silver medals and more than 350 bronze medals. Followed by United States, Germany, Russia and Canada. On the other hand, summer olympics have United States as the Country with higher score in medals, with more than 2500. The second is Russia, next is Germany, then Great Britain and France. As we can tell, the graphs show different countries, but also has some similarities such as, having Russia and United States at the top of the graphs. There are also countries that only appear to win a lot of medals in a specific kind of olympics, in particular Norway, Canada in the winter, and Great Britain and France in the summer olympics. We can conclude that there are countries that are winning a lot of medals in both olympics, but also we have countries that are really good at a specific type of olympics. A factor that might help is the weather that this country has to practice.
The bar
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graphs
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show
the five highest ranking
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medal
winners of all time, including the winter and summer
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olympics
. The
first
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graph
are the winter
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olympics
, having Norway with more than one hundred gold
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medals
, 250 silver
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medals
and more than 350 bronze
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medals
. Followed
A determiner is probably missing here: "by the United States".
by United States
, Germany, Russia and Canada.
On the other hand
, summer
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olympics
have United States as the
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Country
with higher score in
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medals
, with more than 2500. The second is Russia,
next
is Germany, then Great Britain and France. As we can
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tell
, the
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graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
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different
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countries
,
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but
also
has
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some
similarities such as, having Russia and United States at the top of the
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graphs
. There are
also
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countries
that
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only
appear to win
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a lot of
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medals
in a specific kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
,
in particular
Norway, Canada in the winter, and Great Britain and France in the summer
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
. We can conclude that there are
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countries
that are winning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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medals
in both
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olympics
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we have
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countries
that are
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at a specific type of
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
. A factor that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is the weather that this
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
practice.
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IELTS academic Top Countries with medals in the Olympics

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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